Film Review - Homefront (2013)

Available on DVD and Blu Ray - “Homefront” – (2013) – Jason Statham plays a former DEA Agent looking to settle down with his young daughter in Louisiana but quickly finds himself running afoul of the locals and marked for death by a past enemy.   Although there’s more story than I bargained for in this Action/Thriller vehicle featuring the English martial artist, the first 20 minutes of the film consists of an atrociously mangled prologue and subsequent story setup that’s so trite it’ll make your head spin.  Considered at one time to be a vehicle for action vet Sylvester Stallone (he wrote the screenplay), I can understand why he passed.

James Franco (This Is The End) is clearly miscast as the fearsome (at least the filmmakers hope you believe he's fearsome) meth drug lord with a penchant for violence- the showdown between his backwoods enforcer and our hero that is seemingly promised in the film’s trailers is disappointingly anticlimactic.  How very strange to see Winona Ryder (Edward Scissorhands) in a film of this nature and in an utterly disposable role.

Potential viewers can expect shootouts, fistfights, explosions and a car-chase, though it all feels so run-of-the-mill and obligatory.  Overall, it’s a very middle of the road and forgettable offering in Statham’s ever-growing action movie filmography.

5.5 out of 10

Director: Gary Fleder
Cast: Jason Statham, James Franco, Winona Ryder, Kate Bosworth, Clancy Brown, Frank Grillo,Omar Benson Miller, Rachelle Lafevre, Chuck Zito, Pruitt Taylor Vince and Izabela Vidovic
Run-Time: 100 minutes
MPAA: Rated R for strong violence, pervasive language, drug content and brief sexuality.

Film Review - The Kings of Summer (2013)

Available on DVD and Blu Ray - “The Kings Of Summer” – (2013) – This coming of age tale concerning three teenaged boys (Nick Robinson, Gabriel Basso and Moises Arias) who decide to run away from home and build their own domain in the wilderness features striking cinematography and a handful of inspired sequences, though the experience is repeatedly undermined by a flippant, scattershot execution and a highly uneven improvisational approach.  The narrative often strains for profundity when it’s obvious that the material just isn’t there.

I have a long-standing crush on Megan Mullally, though her role as an annoying mom here is completely insufferable.  I could only laugh at a segment (intended to be serious) where one of the boys is bitten by a venomous gopher snake, subsequently developing a swollen leg and foaming mouth… gopher snakes aren’t venomous.

Most will remember the vertically challenged and outright weird “Biaggio”, played by Moises Arias, but for all the wrong reasons. 

The Kings of Summer isn’t bad, though I'm steadfast in believing it to be one of the more highly overrated films of 2013.


6.0 out of 10

Director: Jordan Vogt-Roberts
Cast: Nick Robinson, Gabriel Basso, Moises Arias, Nick Offerman, Erin Moriarty, Craig Cackowski, Megan Mullally, Gillian Vigman and Alison Brie
Run-Time: 95 minutes
MPAA: Rated R for language and some teen drinking

Film Review - Whitewash (2014)

Currently available on VOD - "Whitewash" - (2014) - Essentially a character study of a simpleton drunkard who runs over a man with his snow-plow and then decides to haul ass into the Canadian wilderness in an effort to avoid authorities. Ambling pointlessly around the snow-covered countryside for the majority of the film, Thomas Haden-Church strains to carry the material- there’s just not enough here of a compelling or dynamic nature to warrant a watch. 

It may have helped matters greatly if we were given a reason to care about the central character... no such luck.

5.5 out of 10


Director: Emanuel Hoss-Desmarais
Cast: Thomas Haden Church, Anie Pascale and Marc Labreche
Run-Time: 90 minutes
MPAA: Unrated but the equivalent of a PG-13 for violence and language

Film Review - Kon-Tiki (2013)

On DVD and Blu Ray - “Kon-Tiki” – (2013) –  Based on the true story of Norwegian* explorer and writer Thor Heyerdal’s 1947 expedition across 4,300 miles of Pacific Ocean on a balsa wood raft, this historical drama film features excellent cinematography, razor sharp special effects and superb acting, yet could have used more scenes of camaraderie/character development amongst the vessel’s six crew members.  Launched in an effort to prove that it was possible for South Americans to have settled in Polynesia in pre-Colombian times, the journey took 101 days to complete- I would have gladly sat through 15-20 more minutes of dramatized, developmental padding for a more substantial experience. 

There’s a lot to enjoy here, though the film ultimately sells the highly interesting event a bit short and may lack replay value for most. One of the crew member’s revenge upon a sizable great white shark is bloody, left-field awesome. 

Recommended, but be sure to watch the 1951 documentary.

*Subtitle Alert

7.5 out of 10

Director: Joachim Ronning and Espen Sandberg
Cast: Pal Sverre Hagen, Anders Baasmo Christiansen, Tobias Santelmann, Gustaf Skarsgard, Odd Magnus Williamson, Jakob Oftebro, Agnes Kittelsen and Peter Wight
Run-Time: 118 minutes
MPAA: Rated PG-13 for a disturbing violent sequence

Film Review - Journey To The West: Conquering The Demons (2014)

On DVD and Blu Ray - "Journey To The West: Conquering The Demons" - (2014) - Director Stephen Chow’s (Kung Fu Hustle, Shaolin Soccer) reimagining of the Chinese Odyssey is as intermittently strange, funny, innovative and entertaining as one familiar with the helmer's work might expect- it’s a bit of a heart breaker that it all amounts to a meandering, uneven misfire.

One gets the feeling that the budget for the effects work is depleted well before the film ends- an early showdown with an aquatic demon terrorizing a small fishing community is first rate, with excellent CGI staged around an impressive set piece, though subsequent showdowns feature effects work of deteriorating quality.  Furthermore, the story throws a slew of ill-defined characters at the audience while the narrative often bogs down with unnecessary diversions.

Though open-ended, this was initially conceived as a one-off film- with Journey… turning out to be the highest grossing Chinese film of all-time, there will more than likely be sequels to follow.  I just hope Chow is able to get a better grip on the material and focus in on a more coherent and cohesive narrative- a better script would work wonders.

As is, the film is an exercise in unrealized creative potential from a highly creative filmmaker.  That said, fans of the Director and his zany antics may still find plenty here to appreciate.

Worth a rental.

7.0 out of 10

Director: Stephen Chow, Chi-kin Kwok
Cast: Qi Shu, Zhang Wen, Bo Huang, Show Luo, Shing-Cheung Lee, Bingqiang Chen, Sihan Cheng and Yu Xing
Run-Time: 110 minutes
MPAA: Rated PG-13 for fantasy violence including bloody images, some sexual content and partial nudity

Film Review - Pompeii (2014)

On DVD and Blu Ray - "Pompeii"- (2014) - The whole thing’s pretty damned thin, though this spectacle-driven, tragic Romance/Action/Period Piece/Disaster Film is much better than I ever thought it would be.  I normally loathe PG-13 rated sword and sandal flicks (what’s the point?), but found the special effects/overall aesthetic and efficient direction here making for a worthwhile watch.

English actor Kit Harington (HBO's Game Of Thrones) is solid as the slave-turned-Gladiator who falls for the lovely Emily Browning (Sucker Punch), portraying the privileged daughter of Jared Harris (Sherlock Holmes: A Game Of Shadows) and Carrie-Anne Moss’s (The Matrix) wealthy Pompeii socialites.  Kiefer Sutherland (24) is miscast as a villainous Roman senator who comes between the star-crossed lovers, but hams it up nicely.

Staged against the backdrop of the simmering Mount Vesuvius, the set pieces and costumes are impressive, the fight scenes (although rather bloodless) are commendably choreographed and filmed, while the digital effects are sharp and detailed- the eruption is well-worth waiting for and damned if I didn’t feel cheated for not checking this out in theaters and in 3D.  It’s a worthwhile guilty pleasure from a filmmaker who appears to quite comfy in guilty pleasure territory- Director Paul W.S. Anderson has given us films like Resident Evil, Alien vs. Predator and Death Race.

Give it whirl, but be forewarned- don't expect a happy ending...

6.5 out of 10

Director: Paul W.S. Anderson
Cast: Kit Harrington, Emily Browning, Emily Browning, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Jessica Lucas, Carrie-Anne Moss, Jared Harris, Joe Pingue and Kiefer Sutherland
Run-Time: 105 minutes
MPAA: Rated PG-13 for intense battle sequences, disaster-related action and brief sexual content

Film Review - Odd Thomas (2013)

On DVD and Blu Ray- “Odd Thomas”-  (2013) – Author Dean Koontz’s clairvoyant short-order cook/Supernatural Detective, played here by Anton Yelchin (Star Trek 2009), gets his first film adaptation- it’s a little disheartening that it may also be the character’s last.  Essentially a Young Adult variation of occult detective characters like “John Constantine”, “Carl Kolchak”, “Fox Mulder” & “Dana Scully”, etc., Odd Thomas is an everyman who is gifted (or cursed) with the abilities to “see dead people”- his penchant for proactively seeking to aid those good-natured spirits with their plight usually lands him fending off the forces of evil.  This particular story finds Odd’s supernatural intuition drawn to a shadowy figure who seems destined to play an important role in an impending catastrophe.

Yelchin is able to hold the proceedings together through sheer charisma, while Willem Dafoe (Spider-Man 2002) pops in and out of the picture as the refreshingly understanding Chief of Police.  The unbelievably cute Addison Timlin plays Odd’s girlfriend, “Stormy Llewellyn”, and dammit, man, I’m a new fan!

A few innovative sequences, an exciting climax and a rather sad 11th hour event hint at what could have/should have been, though the narrative struggles with an uneven tone and the overall experience may be a bit too lightweight for its own good.  Lastly, the effects work involving the entirely CGI “Bodachs”, creatures who gravitate towards the elements of evil, is a bit dodgy-  the production was temporarily shut down due to financial difficulties and Director Stephen Sommers (The Mummy ‘99, The Mummy Returns, Van Helsing and G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra) has never been too demanding when it comes to the special effects in his films.

Overall, it’s a passable Supernatural Thriller (with a few elements of Horror thrown in) that I’d recommend as a rental.


6.5 out of 10


Director: Stephen Sommers
Cast: Anton Yelchin, Willem Dafoe, Addison Timlin, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Nico Tortorella, Kyle McKeever, Matthew Page, Patton Oswalt and Shuler Hensley
Run-Time: 97 minutes
MPAA: Unrated though the equivalent of a PG-13 for violence, frightening images and language

Film Review - Maleficent (2014)

“Maleficent” (2014) – Designed as a live-action reimagining of Disney’s own animated classic, "Sleeping Beauty" (1959), with special emphasis on (re)telling the classic story from the titular horned fairy’s perspective, this big-budgeted, spectacle-driven affair is a poorly-conceived mess from start to finish.  Pulling a switcheroo with the wicked bitch’s nature by repainting the character in sympathetic hues and refashioning her as some form of anti-hero is a plain ol’ fashioned bad idea- Disney had a massive budget in place, secured a naturally gifted actress with presence and then promptly sucked all the fun out of the project by neutering her role. 

Why not just provide a live-action remake, with Jolie having the time of her life in taking full advantage of the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to refresh (and revamp) one of cinema’s more memorable female villains?  It’s a major fumble that apparently, as evidenced by the film’s subsequent Box Office success, is escaping the clueless audiences outright.  This push for kinder, gentler Hollywood villains makes my balls itch.

All things considered, and perhaps by default, Jolie is far and away the best aspect of this feature- there’s admittedly a substantial amount of presence and charisma on display, the elements one would expect from a certified movie star.  Just imagine if she would have been unleashed...

Elle Fanning’s performance as “Princess Aurora”/”Briar Rose”/”Sleeping Beauty” consists of reacting to almost every witnessed occurrence with an ear-to-ear grin- strange in that the sixteen-year-old actress has been excellent in every other film I’ve seen her in. 

A wildly miscast Sharlto Copley supplies the villainous, power-mad “King Stefan”- after storming onto the scene with 2009's "District 9", the South African actor is slowly, but surely canceling himself out with a slew of poor decisions.

Imelda Staunton, Lesley Mannville and Juno Temple supply the moronic, vertically challenged, winged fairies, “Knotgrass”, “Flittle” and “Thistletwit”, respectively- the effects work used to render the trio is uneven, raging from solid to quite dodgy.  Intended as comic relief, the three characters are the year’s most insufferable effects-driven creations… we’re talking "Jar-Jar Binks" kinda bad.  One must wonder what the screenwriters were thinking.

Brenton Thwaites’ “Prince Phillip” is an utterly pointless role with literally nothing to offer to the story- coupled with Copley’s addled King, most would surely catch on to the pro-feminist, male-bashing agenda…

English actor Sam Riley (Byzantium) provides Maleficent’s personal lackey and “eyes in the sky”, “Diaval”- I almost thought the filmmakers would shoe-horn him into a love interest role, though it never came to fruition.  Riley’s solid here, though is given little to do other than be transmorphed into various CGI-rendered creatures.  I’ve never seen a wolf with a beak before…

Expect a memorable cameo featuring 5-year-old Vivienne Jolie-Pitt that will likely, albeit briefly, warm the heart.

The effects work regarding the various creatures in Maleficent’s kingdom are pretty damned sharp, though they all appear to be generic offshoots of beings used in prior fantasy films and are void of any kind of character development or personality.

A few glaring plot holes also work to undermine this particular experience.  A few spoilerific points to consider:

1.    Why would King Stefan, desperate to protect his daughter from Maleficent’s wrath, entrust three clearly imbecilic and completely incompetent fairies with raising and protecting her… for SIXTEEN YEARS?  Furthermore, don’t these three magically gifted creatures hail from Maleficent’s realm?

2.    What happened to Princess Aurora’s mother during the vast majority of those many years apart?  It’s understood she passes away at some point, though there’s very little of the Queen to speak of in the film at all- and she seemed like such a loving sort…

3.    Aiming to alter the fate of a decidedly important character, our powerful fairy turns Diaval into a feathery, pitch-black steed and gallops across the horizon with little time to spare.  She is unable to make her deadline on horseback and can only watch helplessly as she realizes she’s only a few moments too late.  Later in the film, surrounded by armed guards and in a particular fix, she casts a spell which transforms Diaval into a winged, fire-breathing Dragon… boy, that winged beast sure could have come in handy earlier in the film when time and speed was of the essence… C’Mon, Man!

4.    The curse upon Aurora stipulates that she will be pricked by the spindle of a spinning wheel one day after her sixteenth birthday and fall into a deathlike sleep- so, understandably, King Stefan calls for all spinning wheels in the kingdom to be burned/destroyed.  Later in our story, Aurora returns (prematurely) home to find an uncaring King of a father who immediately calls for her to be locked away in a room in the castle… which just so happens to be a corridor away from a chamber holding all of the kingdom’s slightly charred (hardly destroyed) spinning wheels… WTF!?!?

I could go on and on, but what’s the point?  Needless to say, it’s a poorly written affair.

James Newton Howard’s original score is better than average, while Lana Del Rey supplies a haunting cover of “Once Upon A Dream” that plays during the film’s closing credits.

The biggest surprise in Maleficent is to find Disney (in its current form) hell-bent on crapping all over 1959’s “Sleeping Beauty”, with the film’s bookending voice-over narration insisting that the beloved animated classic is wholly irrelevant and should be forgotten.  I shit you not.

Although it was an admittedly flawed fantasy excursion, I feel that 2011’s “Snow White and The Huntsman” was a superior film in a similar vein- at least it had Chris Hemsworth kicking ass and Charlize Theron giving it a go as a cold-hearted, bloodthirsty sort.

This is kid's stuff, through and through, but by no means an enduring classic- cautiously manufactured and expertly marketed, Maleficent is designed primarily to separate parents from their money while effectively trashing it's source material.

Walt’s turning over in his grave…

5.0 out of 10

Director: Robert Stromberg
Cast: Angelina Jolie, Sharlto Copley, Elle Fanning, Sam Riley Imelda Staunton, Lesley Mannville, Juno Temple, Brenton Thwaites, Kenneth Cranham and Isobelle Molloy
Run-Time: 97 minutes
MPAA: Rated PG for sequences of fantasy action and violence, including frightening images

Film Review - 22 Jump Street (2014)

“22 Jump Street” (2014) – Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum’s undercover cops, “Schmidt” and “Jenko”, return to bust up yet another synthetic drug ring, and tear shit up, in this sequel to 2012’s surprisingly good "21 Jump Street".  This is essentially a carbon copy of its predecessor, with minimal variations of the previous film’s formula and transferred to a collegiate setting.

Although it never can quite find the spark that ignited the 2012 film, the co-star’s onscreen report/bromance coupled with a relentless, almost satirical self-referential attack on the unlikely franchise’s mere existence keeps it afloat- it’s only occasionally funny, with far more misses than direct hits.  I felt as if the film were teetering dangerously close to spoof territory on several occasions.

Tatum and Hill once again prove to be a charismatic and capable duo, displaying a legitimate chemistry that will more than likely be further utilized by future sequels or follow-ups featuring the pair.

Ice Cube returns as the scowling "Captain Dickson", while Peter Stormare (Fargo) supplies a painfully generic villain in “The Ghost”.  Kurt Russell’s son, Wyatt Russell, is the popular jock and a prime suspect who bonds with Jenko, while the very pretty Amber Stevens (daughter of Shadoe Stevens) fills in as Schmidt’s love interest.

With 2 directors, 3 screenwriters and 2 story credits (and a partridge in a pear tree) one would have expected a more substantial affair- as is, it feels rather light, almost like a direct-to-video sequel.  The action scenes feel like an afterthought this go ‘round.

Spring break and no nudity?  What the hell!

Expect a few cameos, including a couple from the featured players in the popular TV show- let’s just say they’re nowhere near as cool or impactful as the cameos from the 2012 release.  There’s also another crazy, drug-induced sequence, while a mock-sequel montage at film’s end is worthwhile.

Final verdict- 22 Jump Street is not as good as the original (and nowhere near as good as last year’s Sandra Bullock/Melissa McCarthy buddy cop pairing in “The Heat”), though fans of the first film will probably find plenty to snicker at.

Worth a rental.

6.5 out of 10                              

Director: Phil Lord and Christopher Miller
Cast: Channing Tatum, Jonah Hill, Peter Stormare, Wyatt Russell, Amber Stevens, Gillian Bell, Ice Cube and The Lucas Brothers
Run-Time: 112 minutes
MPAA: Rated R for language throughout, sexual content, drug material, brief nudity and some violence.

For what it’s worth:

21 Jump Street (2012) - 8.0        

Shortcut Reviews - Thrillers Special Edition Volume 03: Closed Circuit (2013), Getaway (2013), Raze (2013) and Runner Runner (2013)

All 4 Films available on Blu Ray and DVD...

“Closed Circuit” – (2013) – Eric Bana (Troy) and Rebecca Hall (The Town) co-star in this British Drama/Thriller as two defense attorneys, and former lovers, who inherit a high profile terrorism case and find themselves embroiled in a deep-rooted conspiracy in the process.  This film is just plain ol’, outright boring (I hate employing the term) and doesn’t make a damned bit of sense if you take more than a few seconds to think about it.  Bana and Hall are serviceable, though can’t possibly give off sparks in a vacuum. 

Skip it - If you’ve ever wondered what a conspiracy thriller film would look and feel like if it were directed by a filmmaker strung out on Diazepam, this is it…

5.0 out of 10

Director: John Crowley
Cast: Eric Bana, Rebecca Hall, Ciaran Hinds, Jim Broadbent, Riz Ahmed, Isaac Hempstead-Wright, Denis Moschitto and Julia Stiles
Run-Time: 96 minutes
MPAA: Rated R for language and brief violence



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“Getaway” -  (2013) – Ethan Hawke’s (Training Day) former professional racecar driver must perform a series of tasks in a souped-up, tricked-out Shelby Mustang in order to save his wife from an all-knowing, all-seeing mastermind in this Action/Crime/Thriller. 

It’s far-fetched to the max, with very little intelligence on display- throw in a miscast Selena Gomez as a hacker and you’ve got the worst action film of 2013.  The only aspect that’s worthwhile in this burnin’ rubber turkey is the vehicle featured throughout.

Yet another “car movie” that only serves to reconfirm my notion that Hollywood currently has no inkling or interest in making a quality car chase film- don’t get me started on the overrated Fast and Furious franchise…

Skip it- you’ll get far more entertainment value out of watching a rugrat play Grand Theft Auto for an hour and a half instead.

2.0 out of 10

Director: Courtney Solomon
Cast: Ethan Hawke, Selena Gomez, Jon Voight, Rebecca Budig and Paul Freeman
Run-Time: 90 minutes
MPAA: Rated PG-13 for intense action, violence and mayhem throughout, some rude gestures, and language


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“Raze”- (2013) – A solid, albeit exploitative premise is wasted in this tale of hapless beauties that are abducted by a powerful organization and then subsequently forced to partake in gladiatorial-style, bare-handed combat matches.  It starts off fine but quickly devolves into a series of frustratingly inept and poorly staged sequences- it appears some of the duels are improvised.

Zoey Bell (Death Proof) and Rachel Nichols (P2) headline the film as captive battlers while the emaciated Doug Jones and the swollen Sherilyn Fenn host the televised matches for a wealthy, private audience.

This misfire is noteworthy only because of one early sucker punch involving the demise of a major character and a few unexpected cameos with ties to a certain Quentin Tarantino film.

Skip It- the experience is bloody but pointless and topped off with a shit the bed ending.

5.0 out of 10

Director: Josh C. Waller
Cast: Zoe Bell, Rachel Nichols, Tracie Thoms, Sherilyn Fenn, Doug Jones, Bruce Thomas, Bailey Anne Borders, Rebecca Marshall and Rosario Dawson
Run-Time: 92 minutes
MPAA: Rated R for strong brutal bloody violence throughout, and language


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“Runner, Runner” – Justin Timberlake (Friends With Benefits) stars as “Richie Furst”, a Princeton college student funding his tuition via online gambling who craps out in an all-or-nothing match.  Subsequently discovering that the game was rigged, he travels to Costa Rica to confront the cunning entrepreneur behind the world’s largest online-gambling empire, “Ivan Block” (Ben Affleck).  Richie soon finds himself seduced by the lucrative and glamorous lifestyle and working for Block- matters soon turn dangerous as Ivan’s conniving nature thrusts the young protégé amongst corrupt Costa Rican officials, underworld heavies and the FBI Agent (Anthony Mackie) looking to put a notch in his belt.

Timberlake  needs to stick to comedies or supporting roles in the serious stuff- he’s just plain miscast and out of his league here.  Affleck is merely serviceable while Gemma Arterton (Tamara Drewe) is given little to nothing to do but sashay around as a pretty piece of window dressing. The talented and charismatic Mackie (Captain America: The Winter Soldier) appears in little more than a token, obligatory role.

It’s nice to look at, though paper thin, void of tension and completely forgettable- all so very strange in that the film was written by the co-scripters (Brian Koppelman and David Levien) of one of the very best card shark flicks ever made, 1998’s “Rounders”, and Directed by the guy who gave us the excellent 2011 Crime/Thriller, “The Lincoln Lawyer”.  Those with even the slightest bit of interest should understand that the film features only a couple of minutes of gaming/gambling action.

Skip it, or play it as background noise while vacuuming the house…

6.0 out of 10

Director: Brad Furman
Cast: Ben Affleck, Justin Timberlake, Gemma Arterton, Anthony Mackie and John Heard
Run-Time: 91 minutes
MPAA: Rated R for language and some sexual content

Shortcut Reviews - Crime Comedies Special Edition Volume 01: All Is Bright (2013), Art Of The Steal (2014), Now You See Me (2013) and Pain & Gain (2013)

All 4 Films available on Blu Ray and DVD...

“All Is Bright” -  (2013) – Paul Giamatti (Sideways) and Paul Rudd (This Is 40) co-star as two former Canadian thieves, “Dennis” and “Rene” (respectively), who try to go straight by selling Christmas trees in New York City.  To make matters more interesting, and to create tension between the two men, Dennis’s former wife has fallen for Rene and the two soon plan to marry. 

Giamatti and Rudd are able to elevate the listless script for only so long until you realize it has no particular place to go and nothing really special to offer.  Sally Hawkins is also mishandled as a Russian housekeeper who makes a connection with Dennis. 

Only the final scene was worthwhile for myself, though that was far too little and far too late to save the film from being forgettable.

The original music, especially during the opening credits, is downright annoying.

6.0 out of 10

Director: Phil Morrison
Cast: Paul Giamatti, Paul Rudd, Sally Hawkins, Amy Landecker, Colman Domingo and Tatyana Richaud
Run-Time: 107 minutes
MPAA: Rated R for language and brief nudity


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"The Art Of The Steal" -  (2014) - Kurt Russell (Escape From New York) headlines as a motorcycle daredevil who moonlights as a thief.  Serving a stretch of several years in a Warsaw prison, his “Crunch Calhoun” is quickly pulled back into the heist game for one last job by his good-for nothing-brother, “Nicky”, played by Matt Dillon (Wild Things).  Crunch reassembles the old crew and sets off to steal a priceless book, wary of being burned again by Nicky and staying one step ahead of a determined Interpol agent (a miscast Jason Jones).

The film boasts a solid cast and it’s cool to see Russell working again regularly, though The Art… is just an OK diversion that’s never as flashy or crafty as it thinks it is, adding nothing fresh or profound to the heist film sub-genre- Director Jonathan Sobol either thinks he’s the next Guy Ritchie (Snatch, Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels) or believes that he’s effectively emulating Steven Soderbergh’s Oceans films, but I say no cigar on both counts.

6.5 out of 10

Director: Jonathan Sobol
Cast: Kurt Russell, Matt Dillon, Jay Baruchel, Kenneth Welsh, Chris Diamantopoulos, Katheryn Winnick, Jason Jones, Terrence Stamp and Devon Bostick
Run-Time: 90 minutes
MPAA: Rated R for language throughout including some sexual references



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“Now You See Me” -  (2013) – A small but diverse group of magicians (Jesse Eisenberg, Woody Harrelson, Isla Fisher and Dave Franco) are united by a mysterious, unseen mastermind to perform fantastical heists during their shows.  The film boasts an outstanding cast and the story moves rather briskly, though a ridiculous, logic-defiant script and overindulgence in CGI ruins the experience in record fashion.  The highly implausible and outright outlandish sequences build at an alarmingly rapid rate- it’s been quite some time since I’ve witnessed a film’s narrative so flippantly care-free regarding believability to this degree.  Rattled out by three screenwriters (plus two others with “story by” credits) and Directed by the hack (Louis Leterrier) who gave us the abysmal 2010 “Clash Of The Titans” remake, I guess I should have expected it.

Comparative to cost, this made a huge amount of money at the box office and a sequel is forthcoming- makes one wonder about the current tastes (or lack thereof) of moviegoers in general.

Skip it- If you fell for any of this crap, you’ll believe any damned thing.

4.5 out of 10

For a vastly superior film concerning the art of illusion, look no further than 2006’s “The Illusionist”.

Director: Louis Leterrier
Cast: Jesse Eisenberg, Mark Ruffalo, Woody Harrelson, Isla Fisher, Dave Franco, Melanie Laurent, Morgan Freeman, Michael Caine, Michael Kelly, Common and David Warshofsky
Run-Time: 115 minutes
MPAA: Rated PG-13 for language, some action and sexual content


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“Pain & Gain” – (2013) – This based (very loosely) on a true story of three muscle heads (Mark Wahlberg, Dwayne Johnson and Anthony Mackie) who attempt a shortcut to the American dream by kidnapping, torturing and extorting millions from a trio of wealthy Miami socialites is roided out and hare-brained to the max.  Mining for the humorous elements in this particular “true-life” crime story, while presenting the murderous trio as loveable idiots, reeks of poor taste- perhaps if the Coen Bros (Fargo) had attacked the material instead of Michael Bay (The Rock) it may have had a decent chance.

The sexy on-location Miami backdrop, Bay’s dynamic shot selections and energetic editing style are often positives, though his adolescent sense of humor (which I’ve never appreciated) coupled with a highly erratic tone had me wishing it would end a bit quicker- no such luck as Bay is a sucker for excess.

A hulking Dwayne Johnson is fitfully entertaining as the religious coke-fiend/enforcer battling his conscience, though Ed Harris’s (The Abyss) private detective may just be the only worthwhile and redeeming character.

You’ll either love it or hate it – it all comes down to whether or not you demand a bit of substance with your style.

5.5 out of 10

Director: Michael Bay
Cast: Mark Wahlberg, Dwayne Johnson, Anthony Mackie, Tony Shalhoub, Ed Harris, Rob Corddry, Bar Paly, Rebel Wilson, Ken Jeong, Michael Rispoli, Keili Lefkovitz, Larry Hankin, Tony Plana and Peter Stormare
Run-Time: 129 minutes
MPAA: Rated R for bloody violence, crude sexual content, nudity, language throughout and drug use

Shortcut Reviews - Drama Special Edition Volume 01: August: Osage County (2013), Blue Jasmine (2013), The Great Gatsby (2013) and Labor Day (2014)

All 4 Films available on Blu Ray and DVD...

“August: Osage County” – (2013) – Watching Meryl Streep and Julia Roberts scream and launch F bombs at one another for the majority of this two hour, family-in-crisis/Drama’s run-time was not my idea of entertainment- it feels manufactured, inauthentic and hollow, piling charged altercations and shocking revelations upon one another until a viewer is suffocated into no longer giving a damn. Adapted from a popular Broadway play, I have a feeling something was lost in translation. 

August... is a thoroughly unrewarding and unpleasant experience which consistently misses the mark in its intended moments of poignancy while wasting a very good cast in the process.  Only Chris Cooper shines through the material, albeit briefly.  Those who require resolution with their family-in-turmoil features will absolutely starve.

One of the more highly overrated films of 2013.

5.5 out of 10

Director: John Wells
Cast: Meryl Streep, Julia Roberts, Chris Cooper, Ewan McGregor, Margo Martindale, Sam Shepard, Dermot Mulroney, Julianne Nicholson, Juliette Lewis, Abigail Breslin, Benedict Cumberbatch and Misty Upham
Run-Time: 121 minutes
MPAA: Rated R for language including sexual references, and for drug material


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“Blue Jasmine” -   (2013) – The movie that desperately wants you to feel sorry for a condescending, rich, materialistic bitch (Cate Blanchette) who suddenly finds herself penniless when her ponzi scheming husband (Alec Baldwin) faces the music- this is middling Woody Allen fare at best, pretentious and dull to the core, with the accomplished Writer/Director reheating old material and passing it off as new.

Blanchette’s performance lands somewhere between good and very good, yet there’s absolutely no way that it was the best performance from a leading actress in 2013- that distinction should have been awarded to Adele Exarchopoulos for her turn in "Blue Is The Warmest Color".  Politics as usual for the Oscars, the biggest awards sham in showbiz.

As with most of Allen’s films there’s a solid cast on display, though there isn’t much of a chance to provide significant depth to any of the co-stars who periodically (and briefly) saunter in and out of the narrative.  Love him or hate him, I thought it was cool to see Andrew Dice Clay again.

6.5 out of 10

Director: Woody Allen
Cast: Cate Blanchett, Alec Baldwin, Sally Hawkins, Andrew Dice Clay, Bobby Cannavale, Max Casella, Michael Stuhlbarg, Louis C.K., Peter Sarsgaard
Run-Time: 98 minutes
MPAA: Rated PG-13 for mature thematic material, language and sexual content


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“The Great Gatsby”–  (2013) – Bloated, downright gaudy and filled with a cast seemingly hell-bent on overacting in an insufferable, hammy manner- even the usually stellar DiCaprio (as the titular man of mystery) flashes a look of embarrassment now and then.  The visual gimmickry, obvious blue-screen aided sets and unintentionally goofy situations grows wearisome in rapid fashion.  Top it off with a soundtrack supplied by Executive Producer Jay-Z, himself… complete with modern Jay Z tracks… C’mon, Man!

I didn’t care for the 1974 original attempt to bring F. Scott Fitzgerald’s novel to the big screen (Starring Robert Redford as Gatsby) and I cared even less for this one.  Haunting treatments of Lana Del Rey's "Young and Beautiful", which riffs throughout the film, would be the only element of soul on display.

Director Baz Luhrmann needs to stick to musicals.

6.0 out of 10

Director: Baz Luhrmann
Cast: Tobey Maguire, Leonardo DiCaprio, Carey Mulligan, Joel Edgerton, Elizabeth Debicki, Isla Fisher, Jason Clarke, Amitabh Bachchan, Jack Thompson, Adelaide Clemens and Richard Carter
Run-Time: 143 minutes
MPAA: Rated PG-13 for some violent images, sexual content, smoking, partying and brief language


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"Labor Day"-  (2014) – Set in 1987, Josh Brolin’s (Mimic) escaped convict forces his way into the home, the lives and the hearts of Kate Winslet’s (Titanic) depressed single mother and her teenaged son, played by Gattlin Griffith.  The well-meaning fugitive slowly but surely brings the haunted recluse out of her shell and becomes a father figure to the juvenile boy in the process.  Apparently a small child recently watched several movies based off of Nicholas Sparks novels and decided to craft their very own tale- this Drama/Romance is so sweet, so milquetoast, so manufactured and manipulative that it had me rolling my eyes within five minutes.  The sappy, melodramatic material doesn’t let up for the film’s entire run-time and could easily choke a more hardened soul to death.

The other feature films in Director Jason Reitman’s filmography are: “Thank You For Smoking” (overrated, but Ok), “Juno” (enjoyed it), “Young Adult” (off-kilter misfire) and “Up In the Air”- (my pick for best film of 2009)  I consider Labor Day to be his runaway worst.  How this avoided The Lifetime Channel to end up on the silver screen, I'll never know...

Skip it and clip your toenails instead.

4.5 out of 10

Director: Jason Reitman
Cast: Kate Winslet, Josh Brolin, Gattlin Griffith, Tobey Maguire, Clark Gregg, James Van Der Beek and J.K. Simmons
Run-Time: 111 minutes
MPAA: Rated PG-13 for thematic material, brief violence and sexuality

Shortcut Reviews - Comedy Special Edition Volume 01: The Hangover Part III (2013), Identity Thief (2013), The Incredible Burt Wonderstone (2013) and The Internship (2013)

All 4 Films available on Blu Ray and DVD...

“The Hangover Part III" -  (2013) – The thrill is gone. This franchise has been milked for all it’s worth, with this particular obligatory volume slapped together because the producers are sly enough to understand that a slew of completionists will surely rush out and buy the “complete trilogy collection” on Blu Ray or DVD.

A three minute epilogue would be, by far, the funniest and most inspired bit in the entire film- the remaining 97 minutes are unnecessary.

Skip it, or sniff a straw full of tequila… at least you’ll remember the event in detail...

5.0 out of 10

Director: Todd Phillips
Cast: Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, Zach Galifianakis, Justin Bartha, Ken Jeong, John Goodman, Melissa McCarthy, Jeffrey Tambor, Heather Graham, Mike Epps, Sasha Barrese, Jamie Chung and Sondra Currie
Run-Time: 100 minutes
MPAA: Rated R for pervasive language including sexual references, some violence and drug content, and brief graphic nudity


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“Identity Thief” – (2013) – Infuriatingly stupid, tortuously overlong and dumber than a sack of goat hair- I could go on and on.  Without a decent laugh to be found in its 111 minute runtime, the only thing remarkable about this film is that it somehow successfully transformed the normally charismatic Melissa Mcarthy (The Heat, Bridesmaids) into a loathsome, repugnant sort that most would immediately feel compelled to strangle.  There’s absolutely nothing here to laugh at... hell, there are no redeeming qualities whatsoever. 

Skip it- slowly pull your nose hairs out with a pair of tweezers instead… it would be a helluva lot more fun.

One of the worst films of 2013.

1.5 out of 10

Director: Seth Gordon
Cast: Jason Bateman, Melissa McCarthy, Jon Favreau, Amanda Peet, T.I., Genesis Rodriguez, Morris Chestnut, John Cho, Robert Patrick, Eric Stonestreet and Jonathan Banks
Run-Time: 111 minutes
MPAA: Rated R for sexual content and language


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While we're on the subject of worst films of 2013...

“The Incredible Burt Wonderstone” – (2013) – Steve Carell and Steve Buscemi headline as Siegried and Roy-like entertainers in this painfully unfunny barrage of uninspired skits and outright lame improvisations.  Jim Carrey’s guerilla street magician performances are so awful it’ll make your ass levitate off the couch to grab onto the remote and put an end to the mess.  Only a few brief moments featuring Alan Arkin (he seems to realize the shit he’s stepped into) as a retired magician and Olivia Wilde’s pretty eyes are able to provide an occasional spark or two.

Yeah, skip this dog turd of a film.  Anyone who considers this stuff “funny” has my sincerest condolences; your sense of humor is D.O.A.

1.5 out of 10


Director: Don Scardino
Cast: Steve Carell, Steve Buscemi, Olivia Wilde, Jim Carrey, James Gandolfini, Alan Arkin, Jay Mohr, Michael Herbig, Brad Garrett and David Copperfield
Run-Time: 100 minutes
MPAA: Rated PG-13 for sexual content, dangerous stunts, a drug-related incident and language


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“The Internship” – (2013) – Two recently unemployed, middle-aged salesmen (Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson) decide to apply for internship positions at Google and find their analog mindsets at odds with the digital age.  The genuine chemistry and the witty banter between the two headliners keeps this well-meaning flick afloat for stretches, though a dull, formulaic script ultimately drowns it out.  Vaughan and Wilson had much better material to work with in 2005’s (vastly superior) Wedding Crashers- of course, that particular R-rated romp wasn’t nearly as nice, pat and safe as this PG-13 rated quickie.

Most substantial indicator of screen-writing by committee: how in the world would two pop culture aficionados be unaware of who "Professor X" was?  C’Mon, Man!

I sure do miss past comedy duos like Hope & Crosby, Laurel & Hardy, Abbot & Costello, Cheech & Chong, Wilder & Pryor and Lemmon & Matthau...

6.0 out of 10

Director: Shawn Levy
Cast: Vince Vaughn, Owen Wilson, Rose Byrne, Aasif Mandvi, Max Minghella, Josh Brener, Dylan O’Brien, Tiya Sircar, Tobit Raphael, Josh Gad, Jessica Szohr, Rob Riggle, Eric Andre, John Goodman and Will Ferrell
Run-Time: 119 minutes
MPAA: Rated PG-13 for sexuality, some crude humor, partying and language

Shortcut Reviews - Sci-Fi Special Edition Volume 01: After Earth (2013), Cloud Atlas (2013), Europa Report (2013) and The Last Days On Mars (2013)

All 4 films are available on Blu Ray and DVD -

"After Earth" -  (2013) - A father/son duo (Will Smith, Jaden Smith) must fight for survival when their starship crashes on a post-apocalyptic Earth teaming with dangerous creatures.  Though I didn’t feel this Sci-Fi/Adventure tale from (much maligned) Director M. Night Shyamalan was as awful as most have been letting on, Jaden Smith’s shortcomings as (essentially) the film’s lead undermine the film at nearly every turn. 

The effects are decent but unremarkable and the tone is overbearingly self-serious- After Earth should have been more adult oriented, maybe just featuring Papa Smith fighting off the various CGI creatures in an effort to protect his son for the duration of the film’s run time.  Whoever had the idea of stripping the naturally charismatic actor of all of his inherent charms and presence for this particular role is in desperate need of a swift kick in the ass.

Skip it- One question: on a planet where humans haven’t existed for over one thousand years, how would it have been possible for all of the creatures/animals roaming about to have “evolved to kill humans”?  C’mon, Man!

5.0 out of 10

Director: M. Night Shyamalan
Cast: Jaden Smith, Will Smith, Sophie Okonedo and Zoe Kravitz
Run-Time: 100 minutes
MPAA: Rated PG-13 for sci-fi action violence and some disturbing images


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"Cloud Atlas" -  (2013) - This Sci-Fi/Action/Adventure/Drama concerning several individuals and how their actions reverberate through time is visually impressive but way too ambitious for one film- its run-time falls several minutes shy of three hours, but the narrative desperately needed to be twice as long to fully flesh out all the ideas and characters at play.  Based on David Mitchell’s best-selling novel, the film has the feel of a much larger, more detailed story that has unfortunately been condensed into cliff’s notes- it should have been approached as a trilogy or a six-part (hour per episode) mini-series on HBO or Showtime.

The ill-advised makeup effects involved with the film’s principle players portraying multiple characters in multiple settings throughout time doesn’t really help matters- Tom Hanks looks just plain goofy as a British gangster turned author.

Cloud Atlas isn't awful; it's just intermittently ridiculous and rarely compelling.


5.5 out of 10

Director: Tom Tykwer
Cast: Tom Hanks, Halle Berry, Jim Broadbent, Hugo Weaving, Jim Sturgess, Doona Bae, Ben Whishaw, Keith David, James D’Arcy, Xun Zhuo, David Gyasi, Susan Sarandan, Robert Fyfe, Martin Wuttke and Hugh Grant
Run-Time: 172 minutes
MPAA: Rated R for violence, language, sexuality/nudity and some drug use


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"Europa Report" - (2013) – This found footage Sci-Fi/Thriller concerning the ill-fated mission of an international crew of astronauts searching for life on Jupiter’s fourth moon is healthy in the Science Fiction department but woefully thin as a thriller.  Atmospheric and character driven, with the crew experiencing a series of deadly catastrophes that periodically thins out the ranks, it’s slightly reminiscent of “2010: The Year We Make Contact”.  Fans of Sharlto Copley (District 9, The A-Team 2010), the film’s biggest draw, may find themselves bummed with his lack of involvement here.

We might as well get this straight right now- I despise the concept of “found footage” films as a whole and rue that fateful July 1999 weekend where the highly over praised garbage known as “The Blair Witch Project” was unleashed upon unwitting audiences and subsequently became a box-office success.  The gimmicky approach is a complete nightmare for anyone who appreciates fine cinematography; most found footage films are either cheap or cheap-looking and are rarely pulled off with any semblance of intelligence.  Even the big-budgeted, idiotic “Cloverfield” featured a scene where the cameraman (armed with a handheld setup) is mindful to get some serviceable footage of his love interest being attacked by a bloodthirsty creature… put the fucking camera down and help, asshole! 

With Europa Report, fixed security and observation cameras throughout the vessel capture the happenings in a believable, satisfactory manner- in short, it overcomes the gimmick in a commendable manner.  This particular film should have ended with an 11th hour, revealing freeze-frame, yet overstays its welcome with an unnecessarily tacked-on epilogue.  It’s a passable film, though missing a memorable dynamic and short on replay value.

7.0 out of 10

Director: Sebastian Cordero
Cast: Daniel Wu, Sharlto Copley, Christian Camargo, Karolina Wydra, Michael Nyqvist, Anamaria Marinca, Embeth Davidtz, Isiah Witlock Jr. and Dan Fogler
Run-Time: 90 minutes
MPAA: Rated PG-13 for sci-fi action and peril


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“The Last Days On Mars”- (2013) – This Sci-Fi/Horror/Thriller is essentially a zombie film set on the "Red Planet"- it’s also a rather uninspired and derivative one at that.  Liev Schrieber (Defiance) headlines the crew of Astronauts drilling for core samples on Mars who unwittingly discover a deadly fungus that turns it’s victims into the ravenous undead.

Aside from some pretty nifty land cruisers and a few impressive shots of the otherworldly landscape, there’s very little here of a dynamic nature to warrant a watch.  Shot without a script or any decent ideas, the narrative makes itself up as it goes along- even though the film was produced with a relatively low $11.9 million budget, I’ve seen a helluva lot better made with far less.

Skip it- scrub down the toilet bowl instead, you know you’ve put it off for way too damned long…

5.0 out of 10

Director: Ruairi Robinson
Cast: Liev Schrieber, Elias Koteas, Romola Garai, Olivia Williams, Johnny Harris, Goran Kostic, Tom Cullen and Yusra Warsama
Run-Time: 98 minutes
MPAA: Unrated but the equivalent of an R for violence, blood, gore and profanity