Review - White House Down

At the Theater - "White House Down" - This is the 2nd Action film of 2013 to feature an all-out assault on the White House (Olympus Has Fallen being the first)- it's also the worst of the two... hell, it's a comfortable candidate for worst film of the year. In one of the more ill-advised attempts at a buddy picture in recent memory, Channing Tatum (21 Jump Street 2012) is just going through the motions as the film's in-the-wrong-place-at-the-wrong-time Hero, while Jamie Foxx (Ray) isn't believable for one second as the POTUS. Some of the dialogue is jaw-droppingly awful. 

Channing Tatum stars as "John Cale", a U.S. Capitol Police Officer with dreams of becoming a Secret Service Agent.  In an attempt to impress his estranged (and strangely infatuated with politics) adolescent daughter (Joey King), the two end up touring the White House on a decidedly fateful day. A chance encounter during the tour brings the two face-to-face with President "James Sawyer" (Jamie Foxx), before all hell breaks loose.  Splintering off from the crowd, and separated from his daughter, it's up to Cale to save the day.  Cale eventually steals Foxx's Prez from the ranks of the hostages, yet their buddy/buddy pairing fails to ignite as a memorable, worthwhile tandem. We've seen this formula time and time again, yet rarely this half-hearted, ham-fisted and void of tension in a theatrically released, tentpole film.  It's paint-by-numbers and never any kind of fun- not even the "good, dumb" kind.  A couple of outlandish situations arise late in the film that approach near camp- they're fitting nails in the proverbial coffin that effectively seal the deal on a progressively obnoxious flick.

With "dumb" as an apparent common theme; the first act of this movie features one of the most idiotic, relatively bloodless and ridiculously simplistic takeovers (aided by a slew of the most inept Secret Service and Policemen) you've ever seen in a big budgeted affair of this nature. I'm not so sure any of the Good Guys even get a shot off.  It's painful, irresponsible stuff that I had hoped died off in film-making long ago.  Olympus Has Fallen, though a film I ultimately didn't care for, features a much, much better handled, staged and choreographed opening siege that's far more believable- there's actually a good amount of blood that comes out of those bullet wounds!  I thought it was funny that, for obvious marketing reasons, the bad guys in White House Down are a mixture of those nasty, war-mongering right-wingers and white supremacists- because, you know, it just isn't possible to offend white guys this day and age... ;) .  What would one expect from a $150 Million PG-13 Action movie looking to dominate the global Box Office?

I guess it's a SPOILER to reveal that James Woods (Diggstown) is the brains behind the siege here, playing a revenge-minded Secret Service Head of the Presidential Detail, while Jason Clarke (Zero Dark Thirty- the REAL best picture of 2012) is the mercenary muscle. Woods is the only aspect of the film with any noticeable depth here, though he's acting in a vacuum.  Keep tabs on the talented Clarke- this is a misstep, through no fault of his own.  He's getting substantially better with each role, though he may end up as the career villain because of his distinct look. 

Joey King's (Ramona and Beezus) constantly in peril throughout the film- for such a tech-savy little girl (her character here is an established YouTube.com blogger), she wins the award outright for worst line in the film.  Well after the bad guys have slaughtered the mopes protecting the joint and taken over the White House, Jason Clarke's henchman walks into a room of frightened hostages and shoots one of them in the leg, with the 13-year-old girl exclaiming, "You're going to jail for that!" ...Are you fucking kidding me?!? 

Richard Jenkins (Let Me In) often looks like he's fighting back embarrassment as the Speaker of The House while Maggie Gyllenhaal's (The Dark Knight) Secret Service Agent at "mission control" gives it her solid best with limited material.

Jake Weber (Dawn Of The Dead 2004) is once again wasted in a throwaway role as a quickly-dispatched Secret Service Agent while Jimmi Simpson's (Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter) obligatory, rogue hacker is a complete ripoff of Clarence Gilyard Jr.'s character in the original Die Hard.

The special effects concerning various aircraft are very good but a few cgi-composited explosions are head-scratchingly grade Z material- strange in that Director Roland Emmerich (Independence Day, The Day After Tomorrow) has established himself as one of Hollywood's go-to guys for grand, spectacle-driven films.  Much like the majority of the cast and the screenwriter that wrote this mess, Emmerich is simply phoning it in.  This is paycheck-mode, blockbuster cinema at its damned-near worst and my current pick for worst theatrically released film of 2013.

Skip this mutha...

3.0 out of 10 

FWIW-

Films Directed by Roland Emmerich (of the movies in his filmography that I've seen) -

Universal Soldier - 5.0
Stargate - 8.5
Independence Day - 8.0
Godzilla (1998) - 5.0
The Patriot - 8.0
The Day After Tomorrow - 7.5
10,000 BC - 4.5
2012 - 5.0
Anonymous - 6.0

Review - The Heat

At the Theater - "The Heat" - Melissa McCarthy's (CBS's Mike & Molly) profane, rough-around-the-edges Detective steals the show outright while Sandra Bullock's (Speed) straight-laced, by-the-book FBI agent looks her best when she's a hot mess in this R-Rated Comedy/Buddy Cop film from Director Paul Feig (Bridesmaids).  The last act isn't nearly as strong (funny) as the first two and it could definitely use a small trim, but there's far more material here that works as opposed to that which doesn't (an impromptu tracheotomy should have been left on the cutting room floor) and the chemistry between the two leads is undeniable.  It's well worth a look for those inclined, but don't bring the kiddos- it's filled with foul language (there's a handful too many F words) and it's rather violent in short bursts. 

Although she's starred in several Rom-Com's, I had forgotten that Sandra Bullock is a capable comedic Actress- that just may be due to those films being decidedly forgettable, though.  Her FBI Special Agent Sarah Ashburn in The Heat isn't too far from the similar character she played in the Miss Congeniality films, though the role and the overall content of those two releases were were bound by a far more family friendly PG-13 rating.  She's allowed a little more room to roam here and it works wonders.  I had also somehow forgotten how, um, Hot she could be when she lets her hair down... so to speak.

Melissa McCarthy's Detective Shannon Mullins is a lovably crude force to behold- she's like a foul-mouthed reincarnation of the late John Candy (I cried the day he died).  Her character here is a hard-nosed, seasoned vet with a love of firearms and a hearty sense of justice.  The Actress has an admirable handle on self-deprecating humor which makes her damned near impossible to dislike.  Her real-life husband (Ben Falcone) makes an appearance in a Barroom sequence.  The couple were featured prominently together in Bridesmaids.

So the two contrasting personalities from different levels of The Law reluctantly join forces to bring down an unseen drug lord and, in this case, hilarity ensues.  Yes, opposites thrust together to achieve a common goal is often a tried-and-true formula when the Actors are game, the script is solid and the Direction is sure-handed- The Heat is fortunate enough to have all three of those particular ingredients of that recipe working for it.  Bullock and McCarthy appear more than willing to get down and dirty for several sequences of laugh-out-loud slapstick.

Demian Bichir (Savages) is Agent Ashburn's FBI superior- he's good in little more than a stock character role who only has a few brief scenes.

Thomas F. Wilson (Biff Tannen in the Back To The Future Trilogy) plays the beaten down Police Captain who often incurs the wrath of Detective Mullins, while Comedian Spoken Reasons is put through hell as a small-time drug dealer in his feature film debut. 

Marlon Wayans (Scary Movie) is somehow not annoying as an FBI Agent with a crush on Ashburn- he's actually quite likeable here.  Michael Rappaport (Cop Land) is serviceable as Mullins's troubled brother and Kaitlin Olson (FX's It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia) is featured in what amounts to a cameo as a Russian prostitute.

Michael McDonald (MADtv) makes a surprisingly good bad guy while Jane Curtain (SNL and 3rd Rock From The Sun) is pretty much wasted in a couple of brief scenes as Mullins's Mom. 

Many will remember an outspoken, albino DEA Agent played by Dan Bakkedahl (Observe and Report) - he's the butt of several good jokes, but gives as good as the gets. SNL'er Taran Killam portrays his partner.

NKOTB fans will probably get all giddy when they recognize Joey McIntyre as one of the Mullins clan.  Someone had to point it out to me, well after the fact, just who the hell he was...

As far as Buddy/Cop films are concerned, this clearly isn't intended to compete with the likes of Lethal Weapon or 48 Hours, but it's a helluva lot better than absolute garbage like Starsky & Hutch (2004), Hollywood Homicide, The Other Guys, Showtime, Tango & Cash, Loose Cannons or Cop Out.  Think 21 Jump Street (2012) mixed with Freebie and the Bean (1974) and The Hard Way (1991). I wouldn't call it an action film in that it's devoid of any elaborate car chases or larger-scaled shootouts, but, all things considered, this flick works rather well as a Cop/Crime Comedy and successfully establishes a charismatic, memorable duo.  There's plenty of legitimate laughs and the story never jumps off the rails- a sequel is already on the way.

Recommended.

8.0 out of 10

Review - The Lone Ranger

At the Theater - "The Lone Ranger" - It has it's share of little flaws to pick at (mostly concerning an overabundance of quirk) and it may prove to be a chore to get through a heavily burdened 2nd act (a good 20 minutes could easily be excised), but the payoff was well worth it for myself. An expertly cut, climactic, dueling train sequence, set to the William Tell Overture (or The Lone Ranger's theme), reaches cinematic gold- it's one of the best Directed, stunt-heavy, cliffhanger-esque action sequences in years. I felt like a kid again and apparently several of those audience members who were clapping did, as well. 

The film is absolutely gorgeous to look at (the on-location footage of Monument Valley, Utah, is awesome) and you can actually see where the money went. It's not lathered in CGI or edited with a weed whacker- it's a spacious, grand-style throwback featuring impressive, tangible set pieces, with only the occasional digital assist (courtesy of Industrial Light & Magic). There's healthy doses of humor sprinkled throughout, with a few scenes of outright slapstick. Be forewarned; there's also a pinch of left-field weirdness (carnivorous rabbits, anyone?).  Director Gore Verbinski (Pirates of The Caribbean: Curse of The Black Pearl, Rango, The Ring) continues to display his penchant for mixing in funny, often bizarre little moments that effectively work to balance out matters and give the film a creative pulse. Most of it works as there's an eventual method to the madness.  Expect the similar content and tone of 2003's Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of The Black Pearl  and 1998's The Mask Of Zorro mixed with 1990's Back To The Future Part III.  The Lone Ranger is my current pick as the overall most fun, big-budgeted Action/Adventure release of 2013.

The film opens in 1933 at a country fair in San Francisco, following a young, masked boy as he wanders into a wild west display and encounters the 100-year-old "Tonto" (Johnny Depp) as the feature of the "Noble Savage" exhibit.  At the boy's request, the elderly Comanche recounts the origin tale of the masked legend known as The Lone Ranger.  

Flashing back to 1869 Colby Texas, the narrative follows the sophisticated, pacifist Lawyer, "John Reid" (Armie Hammer), as he travels via train to visit his Texas Ranger brother, "Dan Reid" (James Badge Dale), and his young family.  Aboard that very train and shackled in the same boxcar are the notoriously despicable outlaw, "Butch Cavendish" (William Fichtner), and a revenge-minded Tonto.  A daring escape finds the bloodthirsty Cavendish on the loose, with the Reid Bros and Tonto on his trail.  Anyone who's seen a trailer for the film is well aware that the elder, seasoned Reid (along with several other Rangers) is killed in an ambush, with the wet-behind-the-ears younger brother left for dead.  Tonto nurses John back to health at the nudging insistence of a sacred spirit-horse, Silver, and the three set out to track down Cavendish and his gang...

Johnny Depp's Tonto is clearly the star, with the talented Actor bringing a decidedly fresh and unique slant to the role as a fractured "Spirit-Warrior" seeking revenge. Depp's presence and comedic timing anchor the film quite nicely- a number of funny one-liners and wildly entertaining expressions won me over outright. I didn't like his portrayal of "The Mad Hatter" in Alice in Wonderland  and thought he was highly annoying as "Willy Wonka" in Charlie and The Chocolate Factory.  Thankfully, this creative performance is much closer, in quality, to that of "Captain Jack Sparrow" in the Pirates... franchise or "Ichabod Crane" in Sleepy Hollow.  Don't fret over the dead crow that Tonto wears on his head, here- it's established early on that the character isn't quite "all there", with the quirky prop revisited as an ongoing gag a number of times throughout the film.

Armie Hammer's (The Social Network) reluctant hero is often remindful of Jimmy Stewart's Ransom Stoddard in the 1962 film, "The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance"- it's often a frustrating role in that I'm a no-nonsense kind of brute when it comes to the opportunities which present themselves in a story where the good guy has a chance to put an end to the bad guy...  I'm a shoot-first kinda guy. It's then that I'm reminded that this particular character (as with Batman or Superman) adhered to a strict code of ethics, including never shooting to kill.  It was, admittedly, the one thing about the character in the 1950's TV show, starring Clayton Moore and Jay Silverheels,  that always bothered me as a kid.

Hammer is surprisingly good, though I'm sure most audiences will feel similarly concerning the way the character is handled by the filmmakers- the masked Hero so many of us grew up with doesn't really completely show up until late in the film.  I have a feeling that this was by design with a sort of  "There is no payoff without buildup..." type strategy.  Once the Hero truly emerges, the film fully ignites- it doesn't hurt one bit that that song starts playing.  Audiences will next see the 6 foot 5 inch Armie Hammer team up with Henry Cavill in Guy Ritchie's upcoming The Man From Uncle... that should be interesting.

Hammer and Depp work off one another well and build a solid amount of chemistry by film's end- it would have been nice to know the duo would return to build upon this framework, but alas...

The majority of the bad guys here are appropriately grizzled and grimy, with William Fichtner's (Black Hawk Down) hare-lipped Butch Cavendish a ghoulishly memorable standout. The former daytime soap Actor has chiseled out quite a niche for himself as one of the hardest working character Actors in Hollywood and he puts in great work here.

James Badge Dale's (HBO's The Pacific) Dan Reid also leaves a memorable mark with limited involvement. The Actor completes his Summer Movie hat trick after also appearing in this year's Iron Man 3 and World War Z- he was considerably better with each release. 

The ever-reliable Tom Wilkinson (Michael Clayton) turns in solid work as Railroad Tycoon, "Latham Cole"- much like the stock characters of the old black and white Western serials of yesteryear, this silver-tongued devil harbors a hidden agenda.

Ruth Wilson's (Anna Karenina) "Rebecca Reid" supplies the obligatory love interest and eventual damsel in distress in a painfully underwritten role, while Helena Bonham Carter (The King's Speech) makes a couple of appearances as an ivory-legged brothel madam.

Barry Pepper (The Green Mile) pops up in the film's third act as a corrupt United States Cavalry Captain while a nearly unrecognizable Leon Rippy (TNT's Saving Grace) portrays a double-crossing scout.

Stephen Root (Office Space) has a brief appearance as a town official while American Indian Actor Saginaw Grant has a poignant role as "Chief Big Bear".

Oh, and then there's that cool, weird horse, "Silver"- yeah, that famous line is included, as well.

Hans Zimmer's musical score is substantially better than his work on Man Of Steel- the filmmakers were smart enough to let the composer bring a revamped William Tell Overture into the mix and it works wonders in the film's defining moment. It's indicative of the inherent power of an outstanding piece of music- I hadn't seen that type of rousing response in a theater in quite some time. Those that felt that Man Of Steel had no room for John Williams's Superman theme were dead wrong- I'll feel that way until I die.  Never underestimate the power of music.

With the disastrous box office returns of this film's opening weekend, I've come to the saddening realization that this was the last time I'll be able to see this particular childhood hero in a theatrically released film- it's been over 3 decades (32 years) since audiences last saw The Lone Ranger & Tonto grace the silver screen*, and it's safe to assume that the monetary failure of this particular re-imagining have sealed the character's cinematic fate for many years to come (much like 2012's "John Carter").  Yeah, I'll be long gone before this once wildly popular Western Hero is revisited again by Hollywood.

Remember "The Rocketeer"?  I enjoyed it immensely, but it didn't do well at the box office- it was released in 1991 and there's no followup or reboot in sight.  I feel this film's poor B.O. performance, along with those of the recent John Carter, Green Hornet and Conan films, may have also signaled the end of other traditional adventure/pulp characters in larger-scaled films. Hollywood producers will be hard pressed to plop down large chunks of money for proposed Tarzan, The Shadow, The Phantom, Dick Tracy, Doc Savage, Sgt. Rock, Zorro, Flash Gordon and Buck Rogers films anytime in the near future.  That's a shame.  There's a certain element out there that, for whatever reason, absolutely despises these types of characters.  I guess they're just not cool or edgy enough for today's cynical climate...

Pay no attention to those professional critics who are laying waste to The Lone Ranger- I have a feeling most of them had their minds made up before actually seeing it.  If you're so inclined, give it a chance and check it out in Theaters.  It's good old-fashioned fun that left a smile on my face. 

8.5 out of 10

*If you want to see a truly awful film concerning the masked vigilante (one that's actually deserving of negative press), dig up 1981's The Legend Of The Lone Ranger.  Klinton Spilsbury, in the titular role, was so atrocious in his acting debut that he never appeared in another film.


Just Because - Clayton Moore and Jay Silverheels as The Lone Ranger & Tonto (respectively), from the TV series that originally aired from 1949-1957...

A Photo - 5:13 AM

Just Because - Independence Day

A Photo List - 2013 Midpoint Favorites - January 1st thru June 30th

In Alphabetical Order - (yes, there's a couple of guilty pleasures thrown in...)

1. Bullet To The Head
2. The Heat
3. The Last Stand
4. Mud
5. Oblivion
6. Oz The Great And Powerful
7. The Place Beyond The Pines
8. Side Effects
9. Star Trek Into Darkness
10. Stoker
11. This Is The End
12. Warm Bodies

Document - In Her Castle Made Of Sand

By Travis James Callaway