Review - Parker

At the Theater - "Parker" -  Fairly close to being amongst Jason Statham's worst- the only thing that keeps it out of that particular cellar (which includes Ghosts Of Mars, Revolver, The Transporter 2 and 3 and both Crank films) is an amazingly bloody fight sequence between the action star and a knife-wielding hitman and a scene where a sexier-than-ever Jennifer Lopez strips down to her skivvies. The movie knee-caps itself time and time again with some of the dumbest situations and most illogical reactions imaginable.  How in the hell this is from the Director (Taylor Hackford) responsible for An Officer And A Gentleman and Ray is beyond me.

Parker is a character featured in 24 of Author Donald Westlake's novels- he's a heist specialist with an honor code, an anti-hero who often finds himself dishing out revenge against those murderous, villainous sorts who have wronged him or broken his code.  The character has been played by Lee Marvin in 1967's Point Blank (and by Mel Gibson in 1999's Payback (the character's name was changed to Porter in the latter film).  Statham appears game enough for the more serious aspects of the character, though segments where he's disguised as a priest and a billionaire Texan come across as outright goofy.  I do believe this is the bloodiest, most battered I've ever seen the star in any of his films- it's one of the few aspects I did appreciate about it.

In this particular story (based on the Westlake novel, Flashfire), Parker is double-crossed by his fellow heist team members shortly after pulling off a caper set at the Ohio State Fair.  Shot multiple times and left for dead, our anti-hero pulls through and recuperates in record time for a human being, setting out on a mission of revenge that's way too elaborate and convoluted for it's own good.  I wish it had applied the no-nonsense approach that was utilized so well in the first Taken film... 
 
Strangely enough, Jennifer Lopez's troubled realtor is far and away the strongest, most sympathetic performance in the film, even though she feels out of place.  I found myself wishing other aspects of the film would get better for her sake.  She sure has gotten sexier with age...

Michael Chiklis (CBS's Vegas) is the generic ringleader of thieves who get on Parker's bad side, with Clifton Collins Jr. (Extract), Wendell Pierce (HBO's The Wire) and Michah Hauptman (SWAT: Firefight) rounding out the crew- there is no standout here as none of them are given the quality dialogue or appropriate amount of screen-time to chew scenery and look mean.

Nick Nolte huffs, puffs and grunts through his turn as the coordinator of the film's opening heist- it's a bit strange in that a viewer is led to believe he organizes the event, yet is unaware of how botched things become days after the fact in a well-publicized and tragic aftermath.  It's good to seeing him work so frequently, but he sure looks haggard.

Emma Booth (The Boys Are Back) is Parker's painfully too thin girlfriend- it's another misstep as perhaps this character shouldn't have existed at all, with Lopez's inherent sexiness being utilized even more so (and, of course, pleasing the masses) by having her step into the central love interest role.
 
Bobby Cannavale (HBO's Boardwalk Empire) has a few appearances as the police officer concerned for Lopez's well-being while Patti LuPone (Driving Miss Daisy)  portrays Lopez's annoying mother.

The frequency of absurd little conveniences and ridiculously illogical behaviors given certain situations is unbelievable- Patti LuPone's reaction to a bloodied stranger breaking into her house is bewildering while Statham being able to stab an adversary in the shoulder with a firearm's clip, pull it out of the wound, stick it back into the gun and fire away is craptastic. This film might have been better served going straight to video to be displayed with the last several Nic Cage releases. It's a muddled, unnecessarily contrived mess that should probably be skipped in theaters. 

5.0 out of 10


***Of Note - Those looking for quality Statham vehicles should check out the underrated The Bank Job and the under-seen gem, Blitz.  Hell, Safe was serviceable, at least.  Although they're both ensembles and Statham doesn't really showcase any of his more athletic skills, Snatch and Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels will always come highly recommended.