Review - White House Down

At the Theater - "White House Down" - This is the 2nd Action film of 2013 to feature an all-out assault on the White House (Olympus Has Fallen being the first)- it's also the worst of the two... hell, it's a comfortable candidate for worst film of the year. In one of the more ill-advised attempts at a buddy picture in recent memory, Channing Tatum (21 Jump Street 2012) is just going through the motions as the film's in-the-wrong-place-at-the-wrong-time Hero, while Jamie Foxx (Ray) isn't believable for one second as the POTUS. Some of the dialogue is jaw-droppingly awful. 

Channing Tatum stars as "John Cale", a U.S. Capitol Police Officer with dreams of becoming a Secret Service Agent.  In an attempt to impress his estranged (and strangely infatuated with politics) adolescent daughter (Joey King), the two end up touring the White House on a decidedly fateful day. A chance encounter during the tour brings the two face-to-face with President "James Sawyer" (Jamie Foxx), before all hell breaks loose.  Splintering off from the crowd, and separated from his daughter, it's up to Cale to save the day.  Cale eventually steals Foxx's Prez from the ranks of the hostages, yet their buddy/buddy pairing fails to ignite as a memorable, worthwhile tandem. We've seen this formula time and time again, yet rarely this half-hearted, ham-fisted and void of tension in a theatrically released, tentpole film.  It's paint-by-numbers and never any kind of fun- not even the "good, dumb" kind.  A couple of outlandish situations arise late in the film that approach near camp- they're fitting nails in the proverbial coffin that effectively seal the deal on a progressively obnoxious flick.

With "dumb" as an apparent common theme; the first act of this movie features one of the most idiotic, relatively bloodless and ridiculously simplistic takeovers (aided by a slew of the most inept Secret Service and Policemen) you've ever seen in a big budgeted affair of this nature. I'm not so sure any of the Good Guys even get a shot off.  It's painful, irresponsible stuff that I had hoped died off in film-making long ago.  Olympus Has Fallen, though a film I ultimately didn't care for, features a much, much better handled, staged and choreographed opening siege that's far more believable- there's actually a good amount of blood that comes out of those bullet wounds!  I thought it was funny that, for obvious marketing reasons, the bad guys in White House Down are a mixture of those nasty, war-mongering right-wingers and white supremacists- because, you know, it just isn't possible to offend white guys this day and age... ;) .  What would one expect from a $150 Million PG-13 Action movie looking to dominate the global Box Office?

I guess it's a SPOILER to reveal that James Woods (Diggstown) is the brains behind the siege here, playing a revenge-minded Secret Service Head of the Presidential Detail, while Jason Clarke (Zero Dark Thirty- the REAL best picture of 2012) is the mercenary muscle. Woods is the only aspect of the film with any noticeable depth here, though he's acting in a vacuum.  Keep tabs on the talented Clarke- this is a misstep, through no fault of his own.  He's getting substantially better with each role, though he may end up as the career villain because of his distinct look. 

Joey King's (Ramona and Beezus) constantly in peril throughout the film- for such a tech-savy little girl (her character here is an established YouTube.com blogger), she wins the award outright for worst line in the film.  Well after the bad guys have slaughtered the mopes protecting the joint and taken over the White House, Jason Clarke's henchman walks into a room of frightened hostages and shoots one of them in the leg, with the 13-year-old girl exclaiming, "You're going to jail for that!" ...Are you fucking kidding me?!? 

Richard Jenkins (Let Me In) often looks like he's fighting back embarrassment as the Speaker of The House while Maggie Gyllenhaal's (The Dark Knight) Secret Service Agent at "mission control" gives it her solid best with limited material.

Jake Weber (Dawn Of The Dead 2004) is once again wasted in a throwaway role as a quickly-dispatched Secret Service Agent while Jimmi Simpson's (Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter) obligatory, rogue hacker is a complete ripoff of Clarence Gilyard Jr.'s character in the original Die Hard.

The special effects concerning various aircraft are very good but a few cgi-composited explosions are head-scratchingly grade Z material- strange in that Director Roland Emmerich (Independence Day, The Day After Tomorrow) has established himself as one of Hollywood's go-to guys for grand, spectacle-driven films.  Much like the majority of the cast and the screenwriter that wrote this mess, Emmerich is simply phoning it in.  This is paycheck-mode, blockbuster cinema at its damned-near worst and my current pick for worst theatrically released film of 2013.

Skip this mutha...

3.0 out of 10 

FWIW-

Films Directed by Roland Emmerich (of the movies in his filmography that I've seen) -

Universal Soldier - 5.0
Stargate - 8.5
Independence Day - 8.0
Godzilla (1998) - 5.0
The Patriot - 8.0
The Day After Tomorrow - 7.5
10,000 BC - 4.5
2012 - 5.0
Anonymous - 6.0