Review - Beasts Of The Southern Wild

On DVD and BLU RAY - "Beasts Of The Southern Wild" - (2012) - Every now and then I cross paths with a movie beloved by the masses that makes me question their (or my) tastes.  Beasts... is approximately 93 minutes long, only 10 minutes of which I believed to be worthwhile.  This "celebration of the human spirit" is a poorly written, pretentious and extremely tedious mess that's nowhere near crafty enough to work as a fable or allegory. Halfway through I realized I was watching a Director and Screenwriter desperately attempting (and consistently failing) to recapture Terry Gilliam's (Time Bandits, The Fisher King) trademark Gonzo style and tone of film-making. Strangely enough, this film reminded me most of Gilliam's Tideland- arguably his worst film.

Five-year-old Quvenzhane Wallis is just OK, with the vast majority of her dialogue given as narration and most of her "performance" spent wandering unsupervised around the grimy squalor of the Louisiana Bayou neighborhood and responding to situations with either a tough scowl or a high-pitched scream.  I suppose there's some kind of "authenticity" involved with casting local, first-time, non-actors here, but it had me wondering if it were merely a last-ditch, gimmicky excuse for not having any quality dialogue (or a coherent script) to present trained actors with.

I wasn't buying any of the fantasy elements or symbolic imagery sprinkled about- they felt like cheap escapes from a meandering, illogical story patched together by stoned writers.  When in doubt, just plop another ridiculous situation into the mud pie for no good reason other than the good ol' fashioned just 'cause.  There are some kind of neato giant hog-bull creatures featured therein, but their inclusion (much like the film) is utterly insignificant.

I'm comfortable in placing Beasts... on my list as one of 2012's worst and one of the worst films ever nominated for the best picture Oscar. It's some kind of impressive feat that so many bought into this garbage and those that have deemed this "high art" are frickin' reaching- the notion that subversive, animalistic behavior (including abuse, neglect, the rejection of care, assistance and an education) should be cause for celebration is in extremely poor taste and downright ignorant.  I suppose there may be some chance that I just missed the point of this- if so, I'm proud of myself.

3.5 out of 10

Director: Benh Zeitlin
Starring: Quvenzhane Wallis and Dwight Henry
Running Time: 93 Minutes
MPAA Rating: Rated PG-13 for thematic material including child imperilment, some disturbing images, language and brief sensuality