On DVD and Blu Ray -
"The Baytown Outlaws" - Three notorious redneck outlaw brothers are hired by a desperate woman (Eva Longoria) to retrieve her godson from a powerful crime-lord (Billy Bob Thornton) in this zany Action/Comedy/Ensemble. There are a couple chuckles here and there mixed with a few decent action sequences, though Director Barry Battles appears to be attempting to imitate Guy Ritchie's kinetic action style while also trying (and failing) to emulate Quentin Tarantino's trademark dialogue- the experience is highly derivative, bearing more than a passing resemblance to such films as Smokin' Aces (which I hated), The Big Hit (indifferent) and the Boondock Saints films (disliked the first, haven't seen the second).
There is some amount of effective chemistry between the three titular, good-hearted knuckleheads (Clayne Crawford, Travis Fimmel and Daniel Cudmore), but hauling a wheelchair-bound special needs teen (Thomas Brodie-Sangster) around for the majority of the violent and bloody hi-jinx often smacks of poor taste. I'm thinking audiences will see all three of these guys go on to much greater things, with Fimmel already leading up the History Channel's Vikings and the hulking (6 foot 6 inch) Cudmore (X2) having had a recurring supporting role in The Twilight Saga- the latter will return as "Colossus" in 2014's X-Men: Days Of Future Past.
Eva Longoria is as pretty as ever, while Thornton supplies a solid villain- both actors are coming dangerously close to being relegated to DTV releases- then again, so are a host of other once-popular cinematic performers. Expect appearances by personal fave Andre Braugher (Homicide: Life On The Streets) as a corrupt sheriff, Michael Rapaport (Copland) as an unfortunate bartender and stuntwoman-turned-actress Zoe Bell (Death Proof) as the leader of a small group of vampish biker chicks- her involvement here is most anticlimactic. Rounding out the notable cast is a wholly miscast Paul Wesley (The CW's The Vampire Diaries) supplying a nosy Fed in a worthless subplot.
Although some may find a certain guilty pleasure value here, my call is to check out other off kilter ensemble/action/crime films like Snatch, Lock,Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, RocknRolla, True Romance, Get Shorty and Lucky # Slevin instead.
5.5 out of 10
Director: Barry Battles
Cast: Eva Longoria, Billy Bob Thornton, Andre Braugher, Clayne Crawford, Travis Fimmel, Daniel Cudmore, Thomas Brodie-Sangster, Michael Rapaport, Paul Wesley and Zoe Bell
Run-Time: 98 minutes
MPAA: Rated R for strong bloody violence, pervasive language, some sexual and drug content
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"The Family" - This fish out of water Crime/Comedy tale of an American mafia clan uprooted and relocated (through the witness protection program) to Normandy, France is painfully flat, tonally messy and never really funny. It's a waste of three great veteran actors (Robert De Niro, Michelle Pfeiffer and Tommy Lee Jones) and a disappointing shame in that Director Luc Besson (The Professional) has fallen this far.
With the family clearly out of their element, struggling to fit in and restricted by the constant supervision of a trio of Feds (led by Tommy Lee Jones), their ill-advised old habits eventually bleed through to attract the unwanted attention of a revenge-minded Crime Boss. This film is constantly hamstrung by a thin, uninspired script, only elevated by it's talented cast for a few fleeting moments. I don't know what the hell the screenwriters were thinking in instituting a pointless subplot involving brown tap water- it's unnecessary hare-brained.
De Niro (The Score) plays the head of the household- going a bit stir-crazy and prone to quick bursts of violence, the former wise-guy, much to the chagrin of his handlers, decides to pen his memoirs. Michelle Pfeiffer (What Lies Beneath) portrays the homesick matriarch, with Dianna Agron (FOX's Glee) as their lovelorn teenaged daughter and John D'Leo (The Wrestler) as their entrepreneurial son.
The 69-year-old De Niro's getting a huge amount of work, though very little of that is quality material. Turkey after turkey, I keep wishing he were more selective. Although there aren't many quality roles out there for women in their mid-to-late 50's, Pfeiffer (still very attractive) really needs to fire her agent. Tommy Lee Jones fans may be disappointed with his involvement here (or lack thereof) as he's not really in the film very much. Besson (also co-scripting here) only supplies one brief, poignant scene amongst the three to play off of one another's talents.
There were only two substantial sequences I felt were memorable here- one in which De Niro's character attends a screening of Goodfellas and the other a climactic shootout. It's yet another case of way too little way too late for myself . Most of my attention was spent fixated on Agron's (she's 27, dammit!) arresting hazel eyes...
The Family is a prime example of a once great filmmaker who returned to his bag of tricks once too often to find it empty... I call misfire.
Skip it.
4.5 out of 10
Director: Luc Besson
Starring: Robert De Niro, Michelle Pfeiffer, Tommy Lee Jones, Dianna Agron, John D'Leo and Vincent Pastore
Running Time: 111 minutes
MPAA Rating: Rated R for violence, language and brief sexuality
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"The Man With The Iron Fists" - Although boasting a sturdy, colorful production design, a host of giddily over-the-top bloody moments and a few impressive set pieces, this attempt at a grand-style, Hip-Hop ChopSocky showdown misses the mark. There are a number of elaborate action sequences, though the majority of the onscreen mayhem is of the derivative, been-there-done-that variety. The whole thing ultimately comes across as a flat vanity project for rapper turned Actor/Director RZA- his turn as the eponymous central character is lackluster to say the least. The film isn't awful, it just isn't anything I'll remember after a couple of days- only a newcomer to Asian action films would find any worth here.
Our story concerns a humble blacksmith operating in a gang-infested village in feudal China who becomes embroiled in an elaborate plot to steal an oncoming shipment of governmental gold. Working diligently towards buying his lady love from a local madam by fashioning weapons for the surrounding warring clans, our hero eventually falls victim to their cutthroat tactics. I'm thinking RZA should have turned the titular role over to, let's say, Michael Jai White (Black Dynamite) instead- a guy who possesses presence, charisma and an extensive familiarity with martial artistry... all of which RZA currently does not.
There's a horde of diverse characters here, though most are cardboard offshoots of figures from a myriad of better films. What little enjoyment I did experience transpired when a particularly bloated Russell Crowe's (Gladiator) charismatic, lecherous rogue, "Jack Knife", and Lucy Liu's (Kill Bill: Volume 1) sexy (is there really any other kind of Lucy Liu?) cat-house queen, "Madam Blossom", were onscreen. My crush on Liu knows no end...
Byron Mann is the film's stereotypical main villain, "Silver Lion", with world class martial artist Cung Lee occasionally showcasing his talents as his right hand man, "Bronze Lion". Multiple WWE champ Dave Bautista (Riddick) supplies the nefarious, gigantic enforcer "Brass Body", while former Bond villain Rick Yune (Die Another Day) provides support as "The X-Blade"- a good guy seeking revenge for the death of his father. The lovely Jamie Chung (Sucker Punch) portrays our hero's romantic interest, "Lady Silk".
Originally a four hour epic that was almost split into two releases, this film was pared down to just over an hour and a half- it's wonky editing and thin characterizations are indicative of a larger work we'll more than likely never see. Oodles more character development, a recasting of the film's lead, a spattering of much-needed nuance and a polish on the film's usage of CGI may have made for a significantly better experience- as is, The Man With The Iron Fists is nowhere near as fun or as cool as it thinks it is. Modern quality alternatives with a similar tone include: The Good, The Bad & The Weird, Kung Fu Hustle, Zatoichi (2003) and Ichi (2008).
6.0 out of 10
Director: RZA
Cast: RZA, Russell Crowe, Lucy Liu, Rick Yune, Dave Bautista, Jamie Chung, Cung Li, Byron Mann, Daniel Wu and Zhu Zhu
Run-Time: 95 minutes
MPAA: Rated R for bloody violence, strong sexuality, language and brief drug use
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"RED 2" - This sequel to 2010's RED is never quite as fluid or as unexpectedly fun as it's predecessor, yet it never jumps the rails and does benefit from a serviceable script, a solid cast and a few cool, worthwhile action sequences. Portions of the film are commendably shot on location in Paris, Montreal, Moscow and London, making for an impressive production aesthetic. I felt there were enough positive elements at work here to effectively elevate the film above standard Action/Comedy fare and make for a welcomed, if light-hearted diversion.
In this particular volume, the motley crew of Retired, Extremely Dangerous governmental agents and assassins are thrust into a globe-hopping plot to thwart the unleashing of a mysterious weapon of mass destruction. Bruce Willis (Die Hard) returns as the reluctant leader of the group, "Frank Moses" with Mary-Louise Parker reprising her role as his perky, thrill-hungry girlfriend, "Sarah". Willis is solid and likeable here and at least looks interested- that's a helluva lot more than I can say about his most recent turn as "John McClane" in A Good Day To Die Hard, released in early 2013. Parker is as cute as ever- that's quite an accomplishment for an actress pushing 50. John Malkovich and Helen Mirren also return as "Marvin Boggs" and "Victoria Winslow", respectively- it's always nice to see Malkovich in a more comedic light and Mirren continues to vamp up the screen at 67 (while we're on the subject of women looking great with age,and all).
Catherine Zeta-Jones's (The Mask Of Zorro) Russian spy and former romantic interest of our main hero is a mishandled character and suffers a disappointingly lackluster exit, while Korean actor Byung-hun Lee's (G.I. JOE: Retaliation) supreme athleticism and martial arts expertise is showcased quite nicely in a few hand-to-hand conflicts. His hired assassin out to eliminate our heroes provides an energetic spark whenever the onscreen conflict begins to waffle in formulaic territory.
Sir Anthony Hopkins (The Silence Of The Lambs) provides substantial support as an addled physicist harboring ulterior motives while Neal McDonough (Minority Report) supplies the determined Fed on the group's trail- I've always considered McDonough a milquetoast actor and there's nothing really here to sway my opinion. English actor David Thewlis (DragonHeart) portrays a wily French contact nicknamed "The Frog"... how original.
Brian Cox (Troy) makes a few fleeting but welcomed appearances as the lustful Russian obsessed with Mirren's MI6 assassin (the romance between the two was established in the first film)- With Hopkins also on board, it's cool to see the two veteran actors who have portrayed "Hannibal Lecter" appear in the same film...wish they would have had at least one poignant scene together.
Director Dean Parisot (Galaxy Quest) keeps things zipping along at a brisk clip while the majority of the impressive cast is given little moments to endear in a quirky manner. Expect explosions, a major car chase sequence, a few shootouts (complete with a minigun!) and a couple of elaborate fight sequences along the way. RED 2 is serviceable enough, though I couldn't help but feel it was missing the likes of Karl Urban (Dredd), Morgan Freeman (The Shawshank Redemption) and the welcomed cameo from Ernest Borgnine (RIP) as featured in the first film.
Oh, and have fun spotting the overwhelming amount of blatant product placements, including those for Pringles, Moon Pies, Papa Johns Pizza and Costco.
Although this film underperformed at the Box Office, I wouldn't mind seeing a third entry- strangely enough, I could care less about seeing another Die Hard...
Recommended for fans of the original.
7.5 out of 10
Director: Dean Parisot
Cast: Bruce Willis, John Malkovich, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Mary-Louise Parker, Byung-hun Lee, Anthony Hopkins, Helen Mirren, Brian Cox, Neal McDonough, David Thewlis
Run-Time: 116 minutes
MPAA: Rated PG-13 for pervasive action and violence including frenetic gunplay, and for some language and drug material
***Of NOTE*** 2010's RED Director Robert Schwentke apparently passed on returning to helm this sequel, choosing instead to direct one of 2013's more memorable misfires in R.I.P.D....
FWIW -
RED (2010) - 8.0 out of 10
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