Monday, June 9, 2014

Shortcut Reviews - Horror Special Edition Volume 02: The Purge (2013), John Dies At The End (2013), Would You Rather (2013) and Beneath (2013)


All 4 Films available on DVD and BLU RAY -



"The Purge" - (2013) - It's the year 2022, where, for one night a year, all crimes including murder are legalized in an effort to cleanse the populace of repressed urges... and the poor and homeless, of course.  Ethan Hawke and Lena Headey are the wealthy couple who unwittingly harbor a wounded stranger being hunted by a gang of eerily masked assailants.

The promising premise unfortunately disintegrates rather quickly into nothing more than your standard home invasion flick, complete with dumber than dirt protagonists.  Naturally, this was a huge box-office hit as the current masses don't require a lick of logic or innovation with their storytelling.  Be prepared for July 2014's The Purge: Anarchy - the trailer at least looks more ambitious, but there's no chance I'll be checking it out in theaters.

5.0 out of 10

Director: James DeMonaco
Cast: Ethan Hawke, Lena Headey, Max Burkholder, Adelaide Kane, Edwin Hodge, Rhys Wakefield and Chris Mulkey
Run-Time: 85 minutes
MPAA: Rated R for strong disturbing violence and some language

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"John Dies At The End" – (2013) - This off-kilter Sci-Fi/Horror/Comedy excursion concerning two college dropouts (Chase Williamson and Rob Mayes) who stumble upon a sinister, otherworldly drug that can provide interdimensional travel as a side effect is a sketchy hodge-podge of stapled together ideas and events that’s never quite sure of it’s own identity or eventual destination.  There’s only an occasional spark of creative verve on display- a scene set in a basement where our two heroes are confronted by a meat monster and subsequently find a lifelike phallic door handle preventing their escape (I wouldn’t have used it either) would be the film's lone extended highlight.  Perhaps if Director Don Coscarelli (Beastmaster, Phantasm) had more of a budget to work with, this may have amounted to something.

At least Coscarelli’s "BubbaHo-Tep" (2002) had the delightful Bruce Campbell as elderly Elvis thing going for it.

4.5 out of 10

Director: Don Coscarelli
Cast: Chase Williamson, Rob Mayes, Paul Giamatti, Clancy Brown, Glynn Turman, Doug Jones, Fabianne Therese and Angus Scrimm
Run-Time: 99 minutes
MPAA: Rated R for bloody violence and gore, nudity, language and drug content


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"Would You Rather" – (2013) - Several individuals wallowing in various stages of desperation are assembled by a sadistic Millionaire to play a high-stakes game of Would You Rather.  Brittany Snow seems to have settled nicely into B movie screen queen territory while Horror Movie Legend Jeffrey Combs hams it up as the game’s benevolent host. June Squibb is absolutely atrocious while Adult-Film star Sasha Grey isn’t much better.  Most of the little logistical issues one could pick at are taken care of and the film isn’t too graphic whenever the cards are laid upon the table. 

This is an OK little Horror/Thriller, though it is a little mean spirited and lacks a memorable, dynamic additive.

6.5 out of 10

Director: David Guy Levy
Cast: Brittany Snow, Jeffrey Combs, Jonny Coyne, Lawrence Gilliard Jr., Enver Gjokaj, Sasha Grey, John Heard, Charlie Hofheimer, Eddie Steeples, June Squibb, Robin Taylor, Rob Wells and Logan Miller
Run-Time: 93 minutes
MPAA: Unrated but the equivalent of an R for violence, blood and language



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Beneath” (2013) – Six high school seniors celebrating their impending graduation with a weekend of partying at a local lake find themselves stranded in a small boat and besieged by a large man-eating fish.  In-fighting ensues and the small party becomes more dangerous to one another than the toothy creature circling below.

I appreciated the practical effects regarding the creature and the original score is rather effective, though the filmmakers have churned out several characters (basically fish chum) without an ounce of operational brain matter or integrity- none of the group are the least bit likeable and the constant arguing amongst them grows tiresome in rapid fashion.

Most will roll their eyes at the ridiculously long amount of time it takes the dwindling group to row/paddle themselves out of a relatively small lake.  This particular tale should have been approached as a 15 minute short showcased in some kind of horror anthology but has been frustratingly stretched into a progressively ignorant 90 minutes.  Most will stop caring long before it’s over while the rest will find themselves rooting for the fish.

Skip it and check out 2004's "Frankenfish" instead- at least it has plenty of guilty pleasure value.

3.0 out of 10

Director: Larry Fessenden
Cast: Daniel Zovatto, Bonnie Dennison, Chris Conroy, Jonny Orsini, Griffin Newman, Mackenzie Rosman and Mark Margolis
Run-Time: 90 minutes
MPAA: Unrated but the equivalent of an R for blood, gore and language.
 


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