Review - Short Term 12 (2013)

On DVD and Blu Ray - "Short Term 12"- Brie Larson (21 Jump Street) plays a supervising staff member at a foster-care facility for at-risk teens while also harboring a few simmering conflicts of her own. Romantically involved with a co-worker (John Gallagher Jr.) yet experiencing intimacy issues that threatens their relationship, she makes a connection with a particularly troubled new arrival (Kaitlyn Dever) whose current situation parallels that of her own youth.

What I found here was a nicely textured and involving, serious-minded but never overbearing slice-of-life tale of damaged souls desperate to be loved, understood and accepted.  The narrative avoids predictability and takes a few refreshingly unexpected detours- I was reeled in by the believable, sympathetic characters and several little golden moments strewn about.  It's intelligent and tactful, well-written and directed and features a handful of fine performances.  Larson is definitely one to keep tabs on while many will remember Keith Stanfield's turn as the deeply distressed but highly talented 17-year-old "Marcus"- yes, still waters run deep.

Short Term 12 is an indie gem that comes Highly Recommended.

8.5 out of 10

Director: Destin Cretton
Cast: Brie Larson, John Gallagher Jr., Kaitlyn Dever, Keith Stanfield, Stephanie Beatriz, Rami Malek, Alex Calloway, Kevin Hernandez, Lydia Du Veaux and Frantz Turner
Run-time: 96 minutes
MPAA: Rated R for language and brief sexuality

Review - Lone Survivor (2013)

At the Theater - "Lone Survivor" - This late 2013 film is based on the true story of June 2005's fateful "Operation Red Wings", where four U.S. Navy Seals sent on a recon mission in Afghanistan were ambushed by Taliban forces, killing three team members and seriously wounding another.  The initial rescue mission was subsequently thwarted when a special operations chopper was shot down, killing all eight Navy Seals and eight U.S. Army Special Ops aviators on board.  For the most part, Director Peter Berg (The Kingdom, The Rundown, Hancock) has crafted a patriotic, yet sensitive account that's also effectively tense, highly interesting and often thrilling- the film is only hampered by an eleventh-hour onset of clunky melodrama and a few brief moments of action-movie devolution. 

Mark Wahlberg (Ted) essentially stars here, portraying Navy Hospital Corpsman Second Class "Marcus Luttrell"- I imagine everyone who's shown the slightest bit of interest in this film has seen the trailers and has thus deduced that Wahlberg's Luttrell, although battered and bullet-riddled, is the one who survives the ordeal.  Taylor Kitsch (John Carter) portrays Navy Lieutenant "Michael P. Murphy", with Ben Foster (3:10 To Yuma 2007) providing support as Petty Officer Second Class "Matthew Axelson".  Emile Hirsch (Into The Wild) rounds out the four as Petty Officer Second Class "Danny Dietz".  Berg, who also wrote the film's screenplay (working from Marcus Luttrell's non-fiction book), and the four principle leads establish commendably humanistic characters that audiences can sympathize with, supplying just the right amount of those little scenes of credible camaraderie before unleashing hell upon them.  It's understood that these are everyday guys (albeit extraordinary and tougher than nails) with hopes and dreams and loved ones they all wish to return to.  There's a certain moral dilemma which arises mid-film that may split viewers- a decision that ultimately and undoubtedly set in motion further events.  Even with the benefit of hindsight, I'm still not sure how I would have "voted"...

Wahlberg continues to grow in significant strides as an actor, while it would be a shame if Kitsch's notable big-budgeted box office failures prevent him from landing future leading roles- both actors convey a charisma and presence indicative of reliable leading men.   Ben Foster is still edgy but likeable, whereas Emile Hirsch, although solid, seems miscast.  Eric Bana (Troy) pops up intermittently as Lieutenant Commander "Erik Kristensen", with the majority of his screen-time spent at "mission control".  Yousouf Azami provides the scenery chewing al Qaeda commander while Israeli actor Ali Suliman (The Kingdom) provides support as the good-natured embodiment of the Afghan village that harbors Luttrell while awaiting rescue.  

Keep a lookout for the real Marcus Luttrell in a recurring cameo, while Peter Berg gives himself a small role.

Audiences can expect a legitimately intense thirty-minute firefight (in reality, it lasted well over two hours) that comfortably rivals some of the best filmed and choreographed modern battle scenes in film history. This is gritty, harrowing and blood-caked material that had me gripping an arm rest.  That said, I did have a couple of issues to pick at-

1. There's one ill-conceived slow motion shot where all four Seals jump off a cliff in unison (as a fiery explosion is set off behind them) that feels pulled from another, lesser film- it's that gaudy, 1980's style action gimmickry that I guess I've grown out of and marks the only moment in the film which nears glamorization.  

2. There are at least three different occasions where anywhere from two to all four of the men tumble violently down significant stretches of mountainside, each time miraculously locating their weapons which have conveniently landed in close proximity. The sequences are well shot and effectively forceful, taking audiences on one helluva bruising, bone-crunching ride- though fans of Berg's 2003 film, The Rundown, will surely recognize this sequence as either a Director's trademark or familiar rehash.

3. One of the four Seals warns the others about the presence of poison oak while another experiences a close encounter with a rattlesnake- there is no poison oak growing naturally in the wild in Afghanistan while there are no rattlesnakes (especially not Western diamondbacks) indigenous to the region. 

- Thus endeth my issues.

New Mexico (yes, hence the rattlesnake) substitutes for Afghanistan here- the cinematography is absolutely gorgeous, featuring vibrant, crystal clear footage and several breathtaking vistas. There is indeed a few applications of shaky cam during the extended battle sequence but it actually serves it's point of view purpose rather well.  It's understood that CGI was used extensively in a fiery helicopter crash, though it's of the seamless, razor-sharp variety.  "Explosions In The Sky" and Steve Jablonsky supply a soulful string-heavy soundtrack that often tugs at the heart-strings- it's one that I appreciated so much that I purchased.

As far as Director Peter Berg is concerned, this film marks a healthy rebound from 2012's disastrous Battleship- then again, that particular project was a bad idea from the onset.  Although an imperfect film, Lone Survivor is a worthwhile and fitting cinematic tribute to the exceptionally brave servicemen who fought and died in that particular incident in history.

I came into the theater for this showing a bit early to find a montage of candid photos of the fallen soldiers (often accompanied by loved ones) displayed on the screen as the credits began to roll- there were about thirty patrons at that particular showing and about two-thirds of them were shedding tears and wiping their eyes.  Keeping that in mind during my viewing session, I stayed through those same end credits to find a similar situation by film's conclusion...hell, I even wiped a tear or two away, myself...     

Highly Recommended

8.5 out of 10

Director: Peter Berg
Cast: Mark Wahlberg, Taylor Kitsch, Ben Foster, Emile Hirsch, Eric Bana, Alexander Ludwig, Yousouf Azami, Ali Suliman, 
Run-time: 121 minutes
MPAA: Rated R for strong bloody war violence and pervasive language

***Of Note*** I'm well aware of a certain element that will quickly cry out "propaganda!" and "Pro-War!" and such nonsense without ever sitting down to view the film- the joke's on them, really, for their ignorance and predictability has become rather pathetic at this point.  They're misguided, though allowed...

Shortcut Reviews - Action Special Edition Volume 01: The Baytown Outlaws (2013), The Family (2013), The Man With The Iron Fists (2013) and RED 2 (2013)

 

On DVD and Blu Ray - 


"The Baytown Outlaws" - Three notorious redneck outlaw brothers are hired by a desperate woman (Eva Longoria) to retrieve her godson from a powerful crime-lord (Billy Bob Thornton) in this zany Action/Comedy/Ensemble.  There are a couple chuckles here and there mixed with a few decent action sequences, though Director Barry Battles appears to be attempting to imitate Guy Ritchie's kinetic action style while also trying (and failing) to emulate Quentin Tarantino's trademark dialogue- the experience is highly derivative, bearing more than a passing resemblance to such films as Smokin' Aces (which I hated), The Big Hit (indifferent) and the Boondock Saints films (disliked the first, haven't seen the second).

There is some amount of effective chemistry between the three titular, good-hearted knuckleheads (Clayne Crawford, Travis Fimmel and Daniel Cudmore), but hauling a wheelchair-bound special needs teen (Thomas Brodie-Sangster) around for the majority of the violent and bloody hi-jinx often smacks of poor taste.  I'm thinking audiences will see all three of these guys go on to much greater things, with Fimmel already leading up the History Channel's Vikings and the hulking (6 foot 6 inch) Cudmore (X2) having had a recurring supporting role in The Twilight Saga- the latter will return as "Colossus" in 2014's X-Men: Days Of Future Past.

Eva Longoria is as pretty as ever, while Thornton supplies a solid villain- both actors are coming dangerously close to being relegated to DTV releases- then again, so are a host of other once-popular cinematic performers. Expect appearances by personal fave Andre Braugher (Homicide: Life On The Streets) as a corrupt sheriff, Michael Rapaport (Copland) as an unfortunate bartender and stuntwoman-turned-actress Zoe Bell (Death Proof) as the leader of a small group of vampish biker chicks- her involvement here is most anticlimactic.  Rounding out the notable cast is a wholly miscast Paul Wesley (The CW's The Vampire Diaries) supplying a nosy Fed in a worthless subplot.

Although some may find a certain guilty pleasure value here, my call is to check out other off kilter ensemble/action/crime films like Snatch, Lock,Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, RocknRolla, True Romance, Get Shorty and Lucky # Slevin instead.

5.5 out of 10

Director: Barry Battles
Cast: Eva Longoria, Billy Bob Thornton, Andre Braugher, Clayne Crawford, Travis Fimmel, Daniel Cudmore, Thomas Brodie-Sangster, Michael Rapaport, Paul Wesley and Zoe Bell
Run-Time: 98 minutes
MPAA: Rated R for strong bloody violence, pervasive language, some sexual and drug content

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"The Family" - This fish out of water Crime/Comedy tale of an American mafia clan uprooted and relocated (through the witness protection program) to Normandy, France is painfully flat, tonally messy and never really funny.  It's a waste of three great veteran actors (Robert De Niro, Michelle Pfeiffer and Tommy Lee Jones) and a disappointing shame in that Director Luc Besson (The Professional) has fallen this far. 

With the family clearly out of their element, struggling to fit in and restricted by the constant supervision of a trio of Feds (led by Tommy Lee Jones), their ill-advised old habits eventually bleed through to attract the unwanted attention of a revenge-minded Crime Boss.  This film is constantly hamstrung by a thin, uninspired script, only elevated by it's talented cast for a few fleeting moments. I don't know what the hell the screenwriters were thinking in instituting a pointless subplot involving brown tap water- it's unnecessary hare-brained.

De Niro (The Score) plays the head of the household- going a bit stir-crazy and prone to quick bursts of violence, the former wise-guy, much to the chagrin of his handlers, decides to pen his memoirs.  Michelle Pfeiffer (What Lies Beneath) portrays the homesick matriarch, with Dianna Agron (FOX's Glee) as their lovelorn teenaged daughter and John D'Leo (The Wrestler) as their entrepreneurial son.

The 69-year-old De Niro's getting a huge amount of work, though very little of that is quality material.  Turkey after turkey, I keep wishing he were more selective.  Although there aren't many quality roles out there for women in their mid-to-late 50's, Pfeiffer (still very attractive) really needs to fire her agent.  Tommy Lee Jones fans may be disappointed with his involvement here (or lack thereof) as he's not really in the film very much.  Besson (also co-scripting here) only supplies one brief, poignant scene amongst the three to play off of one another's talents.

There were only two substantial sequences I felt were memorable here- one in which De Niro's character attends a screening of Goodfellas and the other a climactic shootout.  It's yet another case of way too little way too late for myself .  Most of my attention was spent fixated on Agron's (she's 27, dammit!) arresting hazel eyes...

The Family is a prime example of a once great filmmaker who returned to his bag of tricks once too often to find it empty... I call misfire.

Skip it.

4.5 out of 10

Director: Luc Besson
Starring: Robert De Niro, Michelle Pfeiffer, Tommy Lee Jones, Dianna Agron, John D'Leo and Vincent Pastore
Running Time: 111 minutes
MPAA Rating: Rated R for violence, language and brief sexuality

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"The Man With The Iron Fists" - Although boasting a sturdy, colorful production design, a host of giddily over-the-top bloody moments and a few impressive set pieces, this attempt at a grand-style, Hip-Hop ChopSocky showdown misses the mark.  There are a number of elaborate action sequences, though the majority of the onscreen mayhem is of the derivative, been-there-done-that variety.  The whole thing ultimately comes across as a flat vanity project for rapper turned Actor/Director RZA- his turn as the eponymous central character is lackluster to say the least.  The film isn't awful, it just isn't anything I'll remember after a couple of days- only a newcomer to Asian action films would find any worth here.  

Our story concerns a humble blacksmith operating in a gang-infested village in feudal China who becomes embroiled in an elaborate plot to steal an oncoming shipment of governmental gold. Working diligently towards buying his lady love from a local madam by fashioning weapons for the surrounding warring clans, our hero eventually falls victim to their cutthroat tactics.  I'm thinking RZA should have turned the titular role over to, let's say, Michael Jai White (Black Dynamite) instead- a guy who possesses presence, charisma and an extensive familiarity with martial artistry... all of which RZA currently does not.

There's a horde of diverse characters here, though most are cardboard offshoots of figures from a myriad of better films.  What little enjoyment I did experience transpired when a particularly bloated Russell Crowe's (Gladiator) charismatic, lecherous rogue, "Jack Knife", and Lucy Liu's (Kill Bill: Volume 1) sexy (is there really any other kind of Lucy Liu?) cat-house queen, "Madam Blossom", were onscreen.  My crush on Liu knows no end... 

Byron Mann is the film's stereotypical main villain, "Silver Lion", with world class martial artist Cung Lee occasionally showcasing his talents as his right hand man, "Bronze Lion".  Multiple WWE champ Dave Bautista (Riddick) supplies the nefarious, gigantic enforcer "Brass Body", while former Bond villain Rick Yune (Die Another Day) provides support as "The X-Blade"- a good guy seeking revenge for the death of his father.  The lovely Jamie Chung (Sucker Punch) portrays our hero's romantic interest,  "Lady Silk".

Originally a four hour epic that was almost split into two releases, this film was pared down to just over an hour and a half- it's wonky editing and thin characterizations are indicative of a larger work we'll more than likely never see.  Oodles more character development, a recasting of the film's lead, a spattering of much-needed nuance and a polish on the film's usage of CGI may have made for a significantly better experience- as is, The Man With The Iron Fists is nowhere near as fun or as cool as it thinks it is.  Modern quality alternatives with a similar tone include: The Good, The Bad & The Weird, Kung Fu Hustle, Zatoichi (2003) and Ichi (2008).


6.0 out of 10

Director: RZA
Cast: RZA, Russell Crowe, Lucy Liu, Rick Yune, Dave Bautista, Jamie Chung, Cung Li, Byron Mann, Daniel Wu and Zhu Zhu
Run-Time: 95 minutes
MPAA: Rated R for bloody violence, strong sexuality, language and brief drug use

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"RED 2" - This sequel to 2010's RED is never quite as fluid or as unexpectedly fun as it's predecessor, yet it never jumps the rails and does benefit from a serviceable script, a solid cast and a few cool, worthwhile action sequences.  Portions of the film are commendably shot on location in Paris, Montreal, Moscow and London, making for an impressive production aesthetic. I felt there were enough positive elements at work here to effectively elevate the film above standard Action/Comedy fare and make for a welcomed, if light-hearted diversion.

In this particular volume, the motley crew of Retired, Extremely Dangerous governmental agents and assassins are thrust into a globe-hopping plot to thwart the unleashing of a mysterious weapon of mass destruction.  Bruce Willis (Die Hard) returns as the reluctant leader of the group, "Frank Moses" with Mary-Louise Parker reprising her role as his perky, thrill-hungry girlfriend, "Sarah".  Willis is solid and likeable here and at least looks interested- that's a helluva lot more than I can say about his most recent turn as "John McClane" in A Good Day To Die Hard, released in early 2013.  Parker is as cute as ever- that's quite an accomplishment for an actress pushing 50.  John Malkovich and Helen Mirren also return as "Marvin Boggs" and "Victoria Winslow", respectively- it's always nice to see Malkovich in a more comedic light and Mirren continues to vamp up the screen at 67 (while we're on the subject of women looking great with age,and all).

Catherine Zeta-Jones's (The Mask Of Zorro) Russian spy and former romantic interest of our main hero is a mishandled character and suffers a disappointingly lackluster exit, while Korean actor Byung-hun Lee's (G.I. JOE: Retaliation) supreme athleticism and martial arts expertise is showcased quite nicely in a few hand-to-hand conflicts. His hired assassin out to eliminate our heroes provides an energetic spark whenever the onscreen conflict begins to waffle in formulaic territory. 

Sir Anthony Hopkins (The Silence Of The Lambs) provides substantial support as an addled physicist harboring ulterior motives while Neal McDonough (Minority Report) supplies the determined Fed on the group's trail- I've always considered McDonough a milquetoast actor and there's nothing really here to sway my opinion.  English actor David Thewlis (DragonHeart) portrays a wily French contact nicknamed "The Frog"... how original.

Brian Cox (Troy) makes a few fleeting but welcomed appearances as the lustful Russian obsessed with Mirren's MI6 assassin (the romance between the two was established in the first film)- With Hopkins also on board, it's cool to see the two veteran actors who have portrayed "Hannibal Lecter" appear in the same film...wish they would have had at least one poignant scene together.

Director Dean Parisot (Galaxy Quest) keeps things zipping along at a brisk clip while the majority of the impressive cast is given little moments to endear in a quirky manner.  Expect explosions, a major car chase sequence, a few shootouts (complete with a minigun!) and a couple of elaborate fight sequences along the way.  RED 2 is serviceable enough, though I couldn't help but feel it was missing the likes of Karl Urban (Dredd), Morgan Freeman (The Shawshank Redemption) and the welcomed cameo from Ernest Borgnine (RIP) as featured in the first film.  

Oh, and have fun spotting the overwhelming amount of blatant product placements, including those for Pringles, Moon Pies, Papa Johns Pizza and Costco.

Although this film underperformed at the Box Office, I wouldn't mind seeing a third entry- strangely enough, I could care less about seeing another Die Hard...

Recommended for fans of the original.

7.5 out of 10

Director: Dean Parisot
Cast: Bruce Willis, John Malkovich, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Mary-Louise Parker, Byung-hun Lee, Anthony Hopkins, Helen Mirren, Brian Cox, Neal McDonough, David Thewlis
Run-Time: 116 minutes
MPAA: Rated PG-13 for pervasive action and violence including frenetic gunplay, and for some language and drug material

***Of NOTE*** 2010's RED Director Robert Schwentke apparently passed on returning to helm this sequel, choosing instead to direct one of 2013's more memorable misfires in R.I.P.D....

FWIW -

RED (2010) - 8.0 out of 10

Review - The Hunt (2013)

On DVD and BLU RAY - "The Hunt" ("Jagten") - A kindergarten teacher's livelihood is devastated by a child's imagination in this powerful, moving, Danish drama from Director Thomas Vinterberg (The Celebration).  It's a harrowing tale of an honest, good-natured soul pushed to the brink by a misunderstanding.  There is no mystery or twist involved here- viewers are subjected to a straight-forward, linear tale where events transpire in a clear-cut manner.  It's in knowing the truth that an audience's sensibilities are challenged.  I found myself wondering just where I would stand if I weren't 100% sure...

Danish actor Mads Mikkelsen (Casino Royale 2006) is excellent as "Lucas", a recently laid-off high-school teacher currently working at a local kindergarten while seeking to gain custody of his teenaged son.  When an innocent crush is misinterpreted by school officials, facts are distorted, accusations fly and rumors spread like wildfire across the small, close-knit community.  His life is effectively thrown into complete chaos as the hostility escalates and the witch-hunt reaches a fever pitch. This is a dynamic turn from Mikkelsen; from a friendly everyman into an anguished vesper- it's a performance the likes of which (for no good reason) I didn't expect from him.  A final shot hints at a character who will never shake the undeserving stigma or find absolute vindication.

It's damned near impossible to harbor any kind of ill-will towards the five-year-old girl at the center of the narrative's conflict, "Klara", played wonderfully by Annika Wedderkopp.  The filmmakers handled the situation and her character so refreshingly unexpected and delicately that any blame quickly fades from her and is redirected elsewhere.

Thomas Bo Larsen portrays Lucas's best friend and father of the accuser, while Alexandra Rapaport supplies our protagonist's new girlfriend.  Lasse Fogelstrom rounds out the notable cast as Lucas's teenaged son.  The toll upon these respective relationships is expected but commendably bucks formula.

This is yet another beautifully filmed piece of cinema (amongst a banner year of great cinematography) that is deftly written and directed, complete with fine performances across the board.  The Hunt is both infuriating and heartbreaking social commentary that will surely tug at one's emotions- though concerning dark subject matter, it's gracefully and intelligently handled, never devolving into poor taste or schmaltzy manipulation.  It's a superior Drama for discerning viewers and comfortably amongst the finest films of 2013.

Yes, it's Highly Recommended

9.0

Director: Thomas Vinterberg
Cast: Mads Mikkelsen, Thomas Bo Larsen, Annika Wedderkopp, Lasse Fogelstrom, Alexandra Rapaport
Run-time: 115 minutes
MPAA: Rated R for sexual content including a graphic image, violence and language

Review - Enough Said (2013)

On DVD and Blu Ray - "Enough Said" - Funny and authentic, well-written and with fine, natural performances from the two leads, this is a breezy, but thoroughly charming and intelligent Rom Com for the middle-aged crowd. The casual tone, consistently witty banter and a host of little intimate touches kept a smile on my face throughout.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus plays a professional masseuse and single divorced mom who becomes romantically involved with James Gandolfini's burly, but genial TV historian.  Enamored with one another rather quickly (and sharing the understandable reservations and fears concerning the upcoming departures of their respective college-bound daughters) the couple seem destined for a meaningful endeavor. Things do get somewhat complicated (and slightly formulaic) when our heroine discovers that her intriguing new client (Catherine Keener) is her suitor's ex-wife- keeping the former couple in the dark concerning the connection (and aiming to forgo the possibility of a futile relationship) she gathers valuable little details about their relationship and why it eventually failed.   

Former Seinfeld co-star Louis-Dreyfus reminded me that she is indeed charismatic and talented, possessing an impeccable sense of comedic timing- some of her expressions alone are absolutely golden.  There's plenty here to showcase a capability towards more dramatic roles and, dammit, there's no good reason why she should remain relegated to Television fare.

This film marks the next to last feature film role for the recently departed James Gandolfini- about halfway through, I found myself disheartened that the New Jersey-born actor, known mostly for playing tough guy Tony Soprano on HBO's The Sopranos (amongst a myriad of other brutish turns), wasn't able to land more roles of this down-to-earth, everyman nature.  I then realized that there aren't many films of this ilk released in a given year- affable but smartly scripted, allowing capable veteran actors to flex their stuff by simply playing characters who are seemingly very much like their comfortable, real-life selves.  Gandolfini's as likable as I've ever seen him here; a few references to his weight in the film really struck a personal chord... 

Aussie actress Toni Collete (Little Miss Sunshine) and Ben Falcone (Bridesmaids) provide worthwhile support as the married friends of our central character- the give-and-take dialogue between them is rather amusing. I was a bit on the fence concerning Catherine Keener's (The 40-Year-Old Virgin) performance here- I didn't like or dislike her character, though she seemed more like a means to an end than anything.

Enough Said doesn't reinvent the Rom-Com, though it is a cozy and thoughtful diversion that's leagues sharper than the the vast majority of Hollywood's constant onslaught of strikeouts in the genre.  It's adult-oriented, doesn't resort to toilet humor for cheap laughs and features a genuinely appealing chemistry between the centerpiece couple.  It will likely be most appreciated by females, though I can't think of anything that would repel discriminating males...

Highly Recommended

8.5 out of 10

Director: Nicole Holofcener
Cast: Julia Louis-Dreyfuss, James Gandolfini, Chatherine Keener, Toni Collette, Ben Falcone, Tracey Fairaway, Eve Hewson and Tavi Gevinson
Run-Time: 93 minutes
MPAA: Rated PG-13 for crude and sexual content, comic violence, language and partial nudity

Review - The Legend Of Hercules (2014)

At the Theater - "The Legend Of Hercules" (2014) - This is the first of two cinematic releases featuring the muscle-bound Greek demi-god to be unleashed upon audiences in 2014- it's also an early frontrunner for worst film of the year.  Clumsily Directed and largely miscast, this flick is filled with shallow characters, stilted dialogue, tired action sequences and poor effects work.  It's nothing more than a quick, soulless, paint-by-numbers affair aiming to build audience recognition for it's budding young star.  Every year, there are two or three movies that I see in theaters that I flirt with abandoning early on- this is the first in quite some time that had me squirming in my seat out of shear embarrassment. 

Kellan Lutz (The Twilight Saga), appropriately fit but still under-sized, displays very little presence or charisma to speak of in the titular role- then again, it's hard to work in a vacuum. Yes, Lutz possesses more range than the late Steve Reeves (Hercules 1958), though I believe Reeves could have wiped the floor with this kid in his prime... hell, maybe even in his later years. To be fair, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Lou Ferrigno both starred in amazingly bad Hercules films of their own early in their careers (Hercules in New York 1969 & Hercules 1983, respectively) so Lutz could easily rebound.  Audiences will see him next in August 2014's Expendables 3- maybe a few of his co-stars in that film can pass on some pointers...

Martial arts expert Scott Adkins (The Expendables 2) supplies the hateful "King Amphitryon"- the 38 year old actor is about a decade too young for the role and though he has star qualities which have largely gone unnoticed, most will tire of his incessant screaming here.

French model turned actress Gaia Weiss portrays Herc's love interest, "Princess Hebe", while Liam McIntyre (Starz' Spartacus: War Of The Damned) provides fleeting support as his comrade in arms, "Captain Sotiris". McIntyre is slowly but surely improving as an actor and one must wonder if he's primed for his own breakthrough, of sorts...

A woefully miscast Liam Garrigan (Cinemax's Strike Back) portrays Herc's jealous brother, "Iphicles", with Roxanne McKee (HBO's Game Of Thrones) solid as Hercules' mortal mother, "Queen Alcmene".  Oh, don't expect any appearances from our hero's father, "Zeus"...

Johnathon Schaech (That Thing You Do!) pops up a few times sporting cornrows as a Persian warlord, while a couple theater patrons laughed out loud when a hulking gladiator, with his hair fashioned Coolio-style, entered into the mix- yes, it's unintentionally hilarious stuff.

Director Renny Harlin's no stranger to cinematic stinkers, largely responsible for such cruddy films as Cutthroat Island, Deep Blue Sea, Driven, Mindhunters, Exorcist: The Beginning, The Covenant and 12 Rounds.  Die Hard 2, The Adventures of Ford Fairlane and Cliffhanger, though flawed, guilty pleasures, would mark my favorites from the Finnish auteur.  He's lately been relegated to DTV releases (5 Days Of War, Devil's Pass) and television fare (USA's Burn Notice and Graceland), where I'm thinking he should return, post haste. The Legend of Hercules is amongst his most fumble-some and detached work- it's glaringly obvious from the onset he was out of his element.  

Four screenwriters (including Harlin and Sean Hood) deserve some credit here as well.  Events whisk past us in ridiculously rapid, bare-bones fashion- trips across vast oceans which should take months to traverse are covered in mere days.  The narrative gives very little attention to character development, with those smaller, poignant details that define worthwhile escapism in short supply.  It's humorless and completely void of any fun or palpable tension.  There are a couple of brief, sensual moments between Herc and Hebe that teen girls might appreciate, though I felt it reeked of sap.

The digital effects work here concerning the larger scaled battle scenes and period specific set pieces is on the shoddy side, while the smaller, stylized skirmishes are painfully derivative and uninspired.  Harlin seems bound and determined to completely wear out the the slow-motion "speed ramping" effect featured in previous sword and sandal action flicks like Zack Snyder's 300 (2006), Tarsem Singh's Immortals (2011) and most recently in Starz's excellent original series, Spartacus.  An early tussle between our hero and a CGI rendered lion (there is a bit of animatronics used) is embarrassingly bad stuff.  Although the film's estimated $70 million budget is relatively modest, I struggled to recognize just where the hell it all went.  I can't recall one moment, however fleeting, in which I thought to myself, "Oh, that's cool- haven't seen that before." 

Those masochists out there still willing to brave this mess should expect an unbelievably tame PG-13 affair, ridiculously cleansed of any blood. I will admit that I have very little tolerance for serious-minded films that feature epic battle scenes resulting in enormous death tolls that are curiously bloodless- it certainly isn't realistic and pushes the boundaries of integrity... 

My call is to skip this bogus, toothless turkey and wait for August 2014's Hercules, starring Dwayne Johnson- I'm not willing to bet on it being a game changer (it's Directed by Brett Frickin' Ratner, of Rush Hour fame), though it should be considerably better than what we have here...


2.5 out of 10


Director: Renny Harlin
Cast: Kellan Lutz, Gaia Weiss, Scott Adkins, Roxanne McKee, Liam Garrigan, Liam McIntyre, Johnathon Schaech, Rade Serbedzija and Kenneth Cranham
Run-Time: 99 minutes
MPAA: Rated PG-13 for sequences of intense combat action and violence, and for some sensuality

A Photo - There be Trolls in these here woods...

Review - The Wolf Of Wall Street (2013)

At the Theater - "The Wolf Of Wall Street" - It's raining hundred dollar bills (often, quite literally) in Martin Scorsese's (Goodfellas) EPIC cocaine, quaalude, sex and alcohol-fueled bender featuring a myriad of greedy, lying bastards, wild women and a record number of f-bombs.  Leonardo DiCaprio (The Departed) stars as "Jordan Belfort", the eponymous and notorious Wall Street stock swindler of the 1990's who enjoyed a meteoric rise and a legendary run at the top of the fraudulent food-chain before falling to the FBI.  Although there's a wealth of energetic, entertaining material here, a good half hour of this 3 hour film could have easily been cut without losing precious character development or any important events.  It's obvious there's quite a bit of improvisation going on- most of it works and works rather well, though I did find myself zoning out a couple times near a sagging end of the second act.

DiCaprio (in his fifth collaboration with Scorsese) puts in typically stellar work, with a performance amongst his personal best and comfortably in the thick of the best leading roles of 2013.  His Belfort's an ambitious and intelligent sort, starting out as a fresh-faced stockbroker simply looking to provide for his family before quickly being seduced by the avarice and drug addiction commonly associated with the trade.  In the continuing fumblefuck referred to as the Oscars, he probably won't receive a nomination here- it's strange (and ridiculous) that the Academy Awards will continue it's boneheaded strategy of nominating more films than actors in it's various categories.  

The gorgeous Aussie actress Margot Robbie (she could easily pass for Jaime Pressly's younger sister) will undoubtedly leave one helluva impression on the male audience as Belfort's trophy wife, "Naomi".  Audiences better get used to her name as she'll surely be Hollywood's go-to-girl when in need of a ravishing vamp.

Jonah Hill (This Is The End) and his gleaming, over-sized chompers steal a number of scenes as Belfort's best friend and cohort, "Donnie Azoff" (based upon Danny Porush).  Hill doesn't have much range, though he's grown into an excellent character actor who obviously isn't afraid to push the envelope.

Matt McConaughey (Mud) makes a lasting impression in an early, extended cameo as a charismatic stockbroker who takes Belfort under his wing.  He's rather gaunt here, with his scenes either shot during or right after his role as AIDS patient and pharmaceutical smuggler, "Ron Woodroof", from late 2013's biopic, Dallas Buyers Club.

Jon Bernthal (AMC's The Walking Dead) provides intermittent support as Belfort's apish, drug-dealing, smuggler buddy, while Kyle Chandler (Super 8) portrays the FBI Agent tasked with bringing The Wolf down.

As with most of Scorsese's film's, anticipate a host of cameo-sized roles, which includes appearances by Jean Dujardin (The Artist), Joanna Lumley (The BBC's Absolutely Fabulous), Director Spike Jonze (Being John Malkovich), Actor/Director Rob Reiner (Misery, The Princess Bride), Actor/Director Jon Favreau (Iron Man, Iron Man 2) and former New York Police Detective turned actor, Bo Dietl (Bad Lieutenant).      

Expect the single most berserk and hilarious drug-induced altercation between two men ever put to film, with Scorcese's trademark camera shots and rapid-fire usage of popular music throughout- and did I mention Margot Robbie?  Good lord!  I'm usually not much of a fan of biopic tales concerning flawed individuals of the criminal kind who don't know when to quit, though I couldn't help being swept up in this one. True to it's subject and setting, The Wolf Of Wall Street is depraved and excessive- it's also quite entertaining (in stretches) and comes recommended to anyone interested.  It's the biggest guilty pleasure of the year.

8.0 out of 10

Director: Martin Scorsese
Cast: Leonardo DiCaprio, Jonah Hill, Margot Robbie, Matthew McConaughey, Rob Reiner, Jon Bernthal, Kyle Chandler, Jon Favreau, Jean Dujardin, Joanna Lumley, Shea Whigham, Cristin Milioti, Christine Ebersole, Katarina Cas, P.J. Byrne, Kenneth Choi, Ethan Suplee, Spike Jonze, Bo Dietl
Run-Time: 180 minutes
MPAA: Rated R for sequences of strong sexual content, graphic nudity, drug use and language throughout, and for some violence

Review - We Are What We Are (2013)

On DVD and Blu Ray - "We Are What We Are" - This loose remake of the 2010 Mexican Horror film, "Somos lo que hay" is a passable, slow burn, gothic-style tale of a family bound by centuries old customs and with a taste for flesh of the human variety.  From Director Jim Mickle (Stake Land - it's a criminally underrated and under-seen vampire film), this lower budgeted but highly atmospheric tale features some darkly beautiful cinematography and a deliberate pace that helps to maintain a constant feeling of dread throughout- it should tide fans of the Horror genre over as a guilty pleasure for a spell.

With the loss of their matriarch during a torrential downpour that also threatens to unearth their grisly secret, the changing roles and responsibilities heaped upon the family's two conflicted teenaged daughters creates a schism between them and their overbearing, maniacally religious Father.

Bill Sage (American Psycho) portrays the brooding head of the household, a violent big bad wolf of sorts who's determined to pass on his fanatical beliefs to his children no matter what the cost.

Ambyr Childers (2 Guns) is the eldest of the family's two teenaged daughters, "Iris", while Julia Garner (The Perks Of Being A Wallflower) plays "Rose", the younger, rebellious sibling.  Both young ladies put in solid work in presenting two conflicted souls yearning to break free of their suffocatingly structured lifestyles and it's unsavory ritualistic feedings.

Veteran actor Michael Parks (Kill Bill Vol. 1 & 2) is likeable enough as "Doc Barrow", the town's pro-active physician working to uncover the mystery of so many missing persons in the area- one of which happened to be his teenaged daughter years prior.  Parks is rather likeable here in a substantial role.

Wyatt Russell (Kurt Russell's son) provides support as a Deputy with romantic feelings towards Iris, with Nick Damici (Stake Land) popping up a couple of brief moments as a hard to locate Sheriff.  Kelly McGillis (Top Gun) rounds out the notable cast as the well-meaning neighbor.

As with most horror films, there's a couple of lapses in logic that bothered me-

1. Wouldn't a family abiding by a centuries old ritual requiring occasional "fresh meat" have developed a better way of disposing of the remains other than simply burying them around the property?

2. Although a certain gagged prisoner was bound with chains complete with shackled wrists, they obviously had enough range of motion to reach up and pull the strip of fabric down/out. I don't see how anyone fearing for their life wouldn't want to pull an obstructive gag away if they had the opportunity to do so.

Lastly, a certain mid-film event concerning the fate of a stranded motorist leaves a helluva loose end and several unanswered questions.

The above threatens to shake the film off it's rails but there's just enough positive elements remaining to counter those issues.

Mickle's steady direction supplies a healthy amount of effective tension, while the acting is solid across the board.   The majority of this plays out as more of a psychological thriller/mystery with a few notably gruesome excursions- the carnage is bloody without being overly gory.  The climax is both shockingly berserk and hilarious- it may not be for all tastes (ahem), but I felt it ultimately worked. With a little fine-tuning this could have been something special- as it is I still think it's worth a look, just don't plan on eating any beef stew during the viewing...

7.0 out of 10

Director: Jim Mickle
Cast: Michael Parks, Ambyr Childers, Julia Garner, Bill Sage, Wyatt Russell, Nick Damici and Kelly McGillis
Run-Time: 105
MPAA: Rated R for disturbing violence, bloody images, some sexuality, nudity and language

Review - A Single Shot (2013)

On DVD and BLU RAY - "A Single Shot" - Have you ever noticed that it's always a painfully frustrating dumb-shit that stumbles upon a loose stash of cash in movies?  I guess if film scripts and novels were to throw in a clever, crafty "discoverer" into the mix it would make for a mighty short entertainment experience.  Sam Rockwell (Moon), in an admittedly stellar performance, stars as a grizzled poacher who accidentally shoots a young woman while out hunting (because in Hollywood there are no virtuous hunters) only to discover a large sum of money nearby.  Failing to handle the matter in an honest, intelligent way, our protagonist incurs the wrath of a small group of backwoods criminals (led by a greasy Jason Isaacs) out to reclaim their missing loot.  It wants to be some kind of brooding backwoods film noir, but can't keep from tripping itself up with two clubbed feet.

This film does feature some hauntingly atmospheric cinematography and is often gorgeous to look at-  potential viewers can also expect a wealth of memorably shady characters and subsequently strong performances. Rockwell consistently brings the goods while Jeffrey Wright (Source Code) is fantastic as a guilt-stricken drunkard. Willaim H. Macy's (Fargo) crooked lawyer is as strangely out of place as his god-awful toupee. I was amazed at how a corpse magically defies nature in failing to decompose (or display rigor) after days of being stored out in the elements, while a series of brash, idiotic moves by the main character may find some rooting against him...

There is an effectively tense climactic scene which will have most gripping their arm-rests, though a ridiculously pretentious, "poetic" last sequence left me feeling cold and outright disappointed.  It's one of those films with quite a few elements working for it but with an equal amount working against it.

Watch Sam Raimi's A Simple Plan or Scott Frank's The Lookout instead...

5.5 out of 10

Director: David M. Rosenthal
Starring: Sam Rockwell, William H. Macy, Jason Isaacs, Ted Levine, Kelly Reilly, Joe Anderson and Jeffrey Wright.
Running Time: 116 minutes
MPAA Rating: Rated R for some strong violence, sexual content, nudity, language and brief drug use