Review - Noah (2014)

At the Theater - "Noah" (2014) - Director Darren Aronofsky's (Black Swan, The Wrestler, Requiem For a Dream) retelling of one of the more popular biblical stories is given a Lord of The Rings style treatment in regards to scope, though it's more reminiscent in tone and execution to Kevin Costner's much-maligned epics The Postman and Waterworld.  I almost expected the titular character to discover a half-buried Statue Of Liberty once the Ark made landfall, as this could have easily passed for a futuristic, post-apocalyptic tale... complete with ROCK MONSTERS!  Noah is clunky and derivative, intermittently hamstrung by muddled direction and confused with its own messages. 

According to this particular "re-imagining", The Creator (because calling him God isn't politically correct) wishes to destroy man mostly because he's become a nasty meat-eater - yes, this is a vegetarian's and anti-hunter's propaganda film. Strange (manipulative) how the filmmaker's decided not to show any children/infants perish with the "cleansing" deluge, only violent, bloodthirsty, Adult Male (99.9% of 'em, that is) heathens.  Furthermore, I couldn't help but wonder how Noah and his family came across their clothing... C'Mon, Man!

Russell Crowe supplies the titular Patriarch and puts in solid work here- most will find themselves conflicted over just how they felt about his character.  It's a complex turn that I felt Crowe handled with aplomb- I just wish it had been in a better film.  Faced with recurring visions which he perceives to be the will of The Creator, Noah believes it to be his destiny to build an Ark in order to harbor innocent creatures large and small before an impending flood cleanses the world of all other humanity.

Ray Winstone supplies the token villain "Tubal-cain"- a vile, invasive King determined to hitch a ride on Noah's Ark- yes, that pretty much complicates matters.

Jennifer Connelly is Noah's wife, "Naameh"- the actress absolutely shines in one particular scene, though is mostly relegated to background shots.

Anthony Hopkins pops up a few times as the enigmatic "Methuselah" while Emma Watson is "Ila", an orphaned girl that is taken in by Noah and his family.

Douglas Booth, Logan Lerman and Leo McHugh Carroll are Noah's three sons, "Shem", "Ham" and "Japheth", respectively.  I wasn't too taken with any one of their performances, though Lerman's Ham is the most dynamic of the three.

The family starts to fracture under the pressure of the task at hand, with Noah adamant that his immediate family be the last remnants of humanity.  This doesn't sit with two of his sons, with Shem latching onto Ila and hoping to have a family of his own while the teenaged Ham longs for a companionship he has yet to experience.

Noah and family are aided by enormous rock creatures known as The Watchers in the task of building the Ark in a more rapid and efficient manner (because 55 to 75 years worth of building ain't happenin' in a movie)- The Watchers are fallen angels who have utilized their earthy surroundings to form a tangible existence (think the "Ents" in the Lord Of The Rings films).  The effects work regarding The Watchers is rather impressive, though I'm not so sure they should have even been in the film.  The voices of these behemoths are supplied by Nick Nolte, Frank Langella, Kevin Durand and Mark Margolis.

The cast is game across the board, there is one extremely tension-filled scene involving the impending demise of two infants and Aronofsky's handling of several dream sequences and prophetic visions is technically brilliant.  There's too much surrounding these aspects that seems tired and goofy- a couple beats off its intentions.  Strange tonal shifts also work to undermine the narrative- I'm guessing the inclusion of crude welder's masks and makeshift rocket-launchers was supposed to translate in the overall timelessness of the affair, but it just didn't work that way for myself.

Every now and then a highly talented filmmaker gets a wild hair up his butt to tackle something out of his comfort level and ends up trying to pound a square peg into a round hole- perhaps an atheist filmmaker's take on a religious story wasn't such a good idea.

Those that are unfamiliar with this particular story... well, maybe this was made with you in mind.

6.5 out of 10

Director: Darren Aronofsky
Cast: Russell Crowe, Jennifer Connelly, Ray Winstone, Anthony Hopkins, Emma Watson, Logan Lerman, Douglas Booth, Martin Csokas and Leo McHugh Carroll
Run-Time: 138 minutes
MPAA: Rated PG-13 for violence, disturbing images and brief suggestive content