Film Review - The Expendables 3 (2014)

"The Expendables 3" - (2014) - "Barney Ross" (Sylvester Stallone), along with his crew of veteran mercenaries, returns to square off against an old team member gone rogue (Mel Gibson) in this third installment of The Expendables franchise.  Perhaps if I hadn't recently viewed Director Gareth Evans' vastly superior, blood-spattered action flick, "The Raid 2", I may have taken more of a shine to this popcorny, slapped together excuse to get so many action icons in one place at one time.  There's definite entertainment value on display- it's star-studded, action-packed and humorous enough, though I found the flick to be repeatedly hamstrung by a sterilized PG-13 Rating (a first for the series), hasty execution and a few shoddy, CG-enhanced scenes the likes of which frequent bargain basement, DTV action film releases.

Despite having a lesser budget than its immediate franchise predecessor, this particular entry is indeed the most impressive in scope; the run-time is considerably longer, the set pieces are immense while the action sequences are far more elaborate than what has transpired before in the series...  all things considered, I just couldn't shake the strange, almost inexplicable feeling that the experience somehow wallows around in generic territory. 

The Expendables 3 is missing the fresh, giddy anticipation value of the first film and the continuing kick-ass guilty pleasure vibe of The Expendables 2.  The filmmakers have created a schism by refashioning the franchise for tween audiences and removing the older, core vets from a substantial stretch of the narrative; our grizzled vets only bookend the film, replaced with inexperienced newbies for the majority of the experience.

Massive stretches of the action scenes are digitally wiped of bloodshed, with the majority of the crimson karo being utilized in an early sequence where one particular veteran Expendable is gravely wounded. A sequence featuring another team member slicing and dicing through several henchman with a massive knife is ridiculously bloodless, seemingly edited with a pan and scan approach that avoids the mortal injuries and their aftermath.  What's most strange about EX3 is how Director Patrick Hughes, who burst onto the scene with 2010's ultra-violent, ultra-bloody Ozploitation flick, "Red Hill", was tapped to helm this- I wonder how he truly felt when the big studio heads revealed that they were scrubbing down his efforts during post-production in order to pull kids into the theaters?

Stallone is as stiff-necked and swollen as ever as the team's leader, though he's still moving around very well and is a HELLUVA lot better shape at 68 years of age than I'll ever be.  I couldn't help but notice that his character is curiously missing the handlebar mustache that distinguished Barney Ross from a host of other action heroes he's played.  There are rumors of a fifth Rambo film on the horizon and I can only hope for the best.

Mel Gibson, curiously the only big celebrity employed here as a villain, plays a former founding member of the Expendables who is now operating as a cutthroat arms dealer.  His "Conrad Stonebanks", in limited screen-time, is the best villain of the three films by far.  The former Lethal Weapon and Road Warrior star attacks the role with more tenacity than it deserves, and I truly hope this is the first step in a career resurgence. (Robert Davi (License To Kill) does make a brief appearance as an Albanian Mafioso, though he has a blink-and-you'll-miss-it departure.)

Jason Statham, Randy Couture and Dolph Lundgren also return as "Lee Christmas", "Toll Road" and "Gunner", respectively- the majority of their scenes come in the first half-hour and the last half-hour of the film.  Jet Li and Terry Crews have relatively little screen-time in this entry, with Li's involvement as "Yin Yang" relegated to what amounts to an extended cameo.  Crews's lack of involvement as "Hale Caeser" is understandable, given the requirements of an early plot development that necessitates it.

Wesley Snipes (Blade) makes his series debut as "Doc", a former team member with a weird streak and an affinity for cutlery (get it?), who is broken out of a lengthy imprisonment by his fellow Expendables in a pretty nifty opening train sequence.  His reply to why he was incarcerated is priceless and I can't help but hope that he eventually returns as "The Daywalker"...in a film much better than Blade:Trinity, of course.

Arnold's back as "Trench", popping up a few times throughout while chewing scenery and smoking stogies.  Most will get a kick out of him dusting off a few old lines when the opportunity conveniently arises.  Summer of 2015 will see the release of Terminator: Genisys, with Arnie once again returning to the role that propelled him into stardom.

Bruce Willis apparently wanted a ridiculous amount of money (for only a few day's worth of work) to return as CIA operative "Church", so he (and his character) was dropped in favor of a similar character, "Drummer", played by Harrison Ford.  Ford's field officer and Expendables manager has a few very cool moments and really classes up the joint.  Closeup shots of Ford here aren't kind, though I'm still a big fan and can't wait for the next Star Wars release.

Kelsey Grammer makes his franchise debut as "Bonaparte", a retired merc who helps Barney Ross assemble a younger squad of Expendables- the former Frasier star's scenes are enjoyable, though I wish there had been more of him.

Antonio Banderas (Desperado) steals nearly every scene he's in as "Galgo", a Ronin merc desperate to land a job- he's the immensely likeable comic-relief of the picture and does a commendable job in the action sequences in which he's featured.  I sure wish Director Robert Rodriguez hadn't ruined the Mariachi franchise for him with Once Upon A Time In Mexico.

The four younger Expendables recruits:

The hulking Kellan Lutz (The Legend Of Hercules) is obviously cast to pull in the Twilight crowd- his "Smilee" is introduced as a troubled sort, though the filmmakers apparently abandoned any kind of subsequent character arc.  The 29-year-old actor has some amount of presence but lacks charisma.

UFC Champ Ronda Rousey, although believable in an action-oriented role, is absolutely atrocious in the simple act of delivering dialogue- her pouty portrayal of "Luna" is so self-conscious, so concerned with putting forth a phony air of toughness that her every line had me grimacing.  As an actress, Gina Carano (Haywire) is light-years ahead.

Former WBC Welterweight boxing Champ Victor Ortiz is "Mars", a sniper, while Glen Powell's "Thorn" is the tech-savy hacker.  Although I initially bad-mouthed Powell's inclusion in this film, he's by far the best actor amongst the four greenhorns.

Potential audiences can expect a climactic, fireworks-laden, 20+ minute confrontation between our heroes and hundreds of enemy soldiers, complete with several tanks and a few chopper gunships to make matters most dire.  The ending battle takes place in what appears to be a massive, abandoned hotel/casino, with plenty of smaller, practical, stunt-heavy action sequences to showcase the cast's individual talents.  A one on one fight scene between Stallone and Gibson is disappointingly quick and anticlimactic, taking up even less screen-time than the lackluster fight scene between Stallone and Van Damme in EX2.

One glaring issue that I had with the first two Expendables films is even more evident here- all of our heroes are wearing molle vests that are curiously absent of ammo mags.  Apparently, they each only need one clip per weapon...damn these guys are GREAT shots!

EX3 is an undeniably fun, violent film, though never serious and completely void of tension- it's reasonably fast-paced and well-filmed.  If watching your favorite action stars mow down a plethora of faceless bad guys while delivering tongue-in-cheek zingers is your personal idea of high entertainment, this is for you.

As for myself, I've often considered a violent, yet bloodless action film, with hundreds of casualties on display, as a ridiculous cop-out that lacks integrity.  Imagine watching a PG-13 version of Commando (1985) or a sanitized version of Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985), Die Hard (1988) or The Rock (1996) - where the hell is the visceral punch in that?  Modern Cinema is headed down a road where even high-level, adult-oriented films like Saving Private Ryan (1998) or Braveheart (1995) simply cannot be made.  Those who do venture out to see The Expendables 3 need to ask themselves, "Was this one of the greatest action films ever made?"  If the answer is "No", why not?  There was plenty of money and talent to utilize...

Although not a bad film by any stretch, it's certainly not what it should have been and definitely not what Stallone and company set out for when first conceiving this franchise.  Somewhere along the way, a more lucrative gain jumbled up the works and caused the producers to forget why this particular franchise was fired up to begin with.  These particular films should be wild, exhilarating, pulse-pounding diversions that leave audiences clapping and grinning from ear-to-ear- they are golden opportunities squandered, with the filmmakers seemingly content with B-movie, guilty pleasure aspirations.  I'll never forget a packed theater's infectious clapping when Schwarzennegger uttered "You're fired." in 1994's True Lies, or the crazy-cool cheers when Stallone unleashed a .50 Caliber upon an army of Burmese soldiers in 2008's Rambo.  There's not much about this particular film that I'll remember past a few weeks...

My call is to skip it in theaters and wait a few months for the inevitable Unrated/Extended release on DVD and Blu Ray...although it couldn't possibly fix all of the film's problems, I guarantee a substantially grittier experience. If you're seeking heavily-edited/censored action films, why not just tune into FX, USA, TNT, FOX, TBS or SPIKE television programming?

7.0 out of 10

Director: Patrick Hughes
Cast: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Antonio Banderas, Wesley Snipes, Dolph Lundgren, Mel Gibson, Harrison Ford, Kelsey Grammar, Kellan Lutz, Arnold Schwarzennegger, Terry Crews, Randy Couture, Ronda Rousey, Jet Li, Victor Ortiz, Glen Powell and Robert Davi
Run-Time: 127 minutes
MPAA: Rated PG-13 for violence including intense sustained gun battles and fight scenes, and for language

For what it's worth, how I've felt about the other Expendables films-

The Expendables (2010) - 8.0
The Expendables 2 (2012) -8.0