Review- Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

At the Theater- Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter -  You walk into something like this looking for a guilty pleasure, but this Historical Drama (!) /Action/Vampire movie mostly sucks. The hyper-stylized action sequences are more gawdy and outlandish than cool, the effects work ranges from shoddy to serviceable and the script is full of those little groan-inducing moments that border on bad taste- it's all rather painfully derivative and way too self-serious to get any enjoyment out of.  It's hindered by the confines of trying to interweave itself with historical events and real-life characters and just isn't smart, crafty or cool enough to pull it off- something the Blade (at least the first two) and Underworld films have never had to worry about;  Blade is a Vampire/Human hybrid and Selene is a "Death Dealer" Vampire- their respective powers and capabilities are explained, established and understood, while Lincoln's ability (as a mere human) to withstand being pulverized by a projectile horse (!) should just be accepted... it's laughably ridiculous, just like most of the movie.

Benjamin Walker, the star of the film who portrays the titular character,  tries really hard- he looks like a young Liam Neeson and has some raw talent to build upon.  I have a feeling we'll be seeing more of him- hopefully in better quality films. Mary Elizabeth Winstead (Mary Todd Lincoln, here), Dominic Cooper (Lincoln's Vampire Killer mentor and trainer who's harboring a secret), Rufus Sewell (who always portrays a solid villain) and Anthonie Mackie (The Hurt Locker) all also put in better work than the film deserves.  Martin Csokas (The Debt) has the best line in the flick- while sniffing the air, his vampire character mutters, "Abraham Fuckin' Lincoln!"

I really hated Director Timur Bekmambetov's Wanted and feel this is only a baby step in the right direction- this film really should have gone straight to video.  Check it out as a rental only if you absolutely have to have your Vampire fix...

4.5 out of 10.

Review- Brave

At the Theater- Brave -  Pixar and Disney's latest collaboration is technically thrilling as a viewing experience (the colors are extremely vibrant and the animation is outstanding), but the story ultimately feels more like an obligatory sequel to a superior franchise starter because of a familiar script and a few too many secondary characters that seem pulled from the stockroom of past animated films.  Outside of the main protagonist, Merida (voiced by Kelly Macdonald), I really don't think there's any lasting, fleshed out characters that will stand the test of time.  That said, it's the first Pixar film that I've checked out in the theater (2011's Rango was the first animated feature I had seen in the theater since I was a kid), and I'm glad I finally got around to shaking off those hesitations.

Other vocal talents featured include- Emma Thompson as "Queen Elinor" (whose character design is the spitting image of a young Jane Seymour) , Billy Connolly as "King Fergus" (who reminded me a little too much of "Stoik" in How to Train Your Dragon), Julie Walters as "The Witch", with Robbie Coltrane, Kevin McKidd and Craig Ferguson as representative clan leaders.  There's three rambunctious "little brothers" that will probably steal the film for many.

See it with your little ones in a quality theater, but be forewarned- a couple of sequences involving a rather frightening, villainous bear might leave them covering their eyes or pulling to your side.

There's a short film, La Luna, that plays before the feature- it's well-intentioned but I felt it to be a bit underwhelming as well.

As far as Pixar films are concerned, I enjoyed The Incredibles, UP!, Monsters Inc., Toy Story and Toy Story 3, A Bug's Life and Finding Nemo quite a bit more. The first half of WALL-E was outstanding where the second half was not, Toy Story 2 and Ratatouille were serviceable and I will continue to skip the Cars movies...

8.0 out of 10

Just Because- "Roman Holiday"

Review- The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel

At the Theater- "The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel" - Several British retirees travel to India to take up residence in what they believe to be is the "newly restored" Hotel of the title- what transpires thereafter is a fun, witty, involving and sometimes heartbreaking Drama/Comedy that I found to be somewhat remindful of (and a worthy companion piece to) "Four Weddings and a Funeral." 

The film, directed by John Madden (Shakespeare in Love) starts off a bit flat over the first 5 minutes or so, but once the ensemble is established and the setting changes from Britain to India it should "grow" on an interested viewer as it did with me. It's a well-written and Directed film, featuring some wonderful cinematography- the on-location filming captures the bustling environment and inherent beauty of India quite nicely.

Although Judi Dench, Tom Wilkinson and Bill Nighy are the standouts, the cast and performances are first rate across the board- the characters are all fairly well fleshed out with believability never being an issue. The recently-widowed character that Dench portrays would be the central character of the film- it's a heartfelt performance that truly anchors the proceedings.  Tom Wilkinson's search for a lost love would be the most poignant story arc- I found my eyes welling up a bit at one point.

Bill Nighy plays the overtly positive, henpecked husband of the bitter and self-centered Penelope Wilton (Shaun of The Dead)- A scene involving a breakdown between the couple really drives home Nighy's full range. I'm a fan of the actor and find that he's usually quite a scene-stealer.

Dev Patel (Slumdog Millionaire) is the fledgling hotel's manager, with the very pretty newcomer Tena Desae as his love interest.  Patel shows quite a bit of range here and I find myself wishing we could see more of him in American or British comedies- dude's likable and has talent.  Desae should pick up quite a few roles after this...

Maggie Smith's snobby racist undergoes an admittedly predictable transformation- she's so damned good getting there that it shouldn't matter.  Celia Imrie (Bridget Jones's Diary) is the middle-aged vamp looking for a wealthy suitor, while Ronald Pickup's wily coot just wants one last romp with a younger woman to "revisit his youth."

Fans of quality British Comedies, or of any of the actors involved, would be wise to check it out.

It's got a great final shot.

Highly Recommended

8.5

Review- Drive

At the Theater- Drive -- This is not an Action film, this is not a "Car" movie- It's a character-driven, slow-burn thriller of the first order that features elements of some of the finer works from Directorial royalty like Martin Scorsese, Michael Mann, William Friedkin, Quentin Tarantino, Walter Hill and the late Sam Peckinpah. FWIW, it reminded me most of Sam Peckinpah's The Driver (1978) and Michael Mann's Thief (1981)- though I would safely venture to say it's better than both films.

The film is an electric mixture of beautiful, lingering cinematography, a pulsating soundtrack, lean dialogue and short bursts of graphic, bloody violence. It's tense and involving- almost impossible not to get immersed in. Nicolas Winding Refn is a Director to definitely keep a tab on.

Ryan Gosling is the embodiment of some kind of cold fire at the heart of the matter- his "Driver" character is a well-intentioned but unstoppable force that will surely end up as a cult favorite for decades to come. Carey Mulligan, Albert Brooks, Ron Perlman, Bryan Cranston, Christina Hendricks and Oscar Issac round out an excellent cast that's pretty much in support but extremely well-utilized.

Those wanting to check out a quick and disposable, mindlessly fun popcorn flick need to steer clear- this isn't what you're looking for. This is deadly-serious film-making that's damned-near perfect.

It's not only my favorite film of 2011, it's one of my all-time top faves. Highly Recommended.

9.5 outta 10

Review- Super 8

Review - "Super 8" - A mixture of "The Goonies", "Close Encounters Of The Third Kind", "E.T." and some of the "Creature Features" of the 1940's and 50's. The buildup is effectively atmospheric and entertaining- too bad the payoff falls a bit short.

A group of kids filming a super 8 movie in their small Ohio town witness a train crash and then investigate the strange events that follow.  Set in 1979, the movie is a bit of a time capsule- those that are old enough will have fun pointing out all the memorabilia of that particular era.  The monster and mayhem is just a backdrop- the movie is really a coming-of-age tale about a boy struggling with the loss of his mother and trying to connect with his father.  He and his friends interest in movies and film is a recurring theme.

Elle Fanning (Dakota's sister) is my pick for talent to watch here, although first-time actor Joel Courtney (the star of the movie) will surely be featured in many films to come.  Kyle Chandler and Ron Eldard are solid in support.

I'm a fan of the "Creature Feature" genre- some of my favorites include JAWS, John Carpenter's The Thing, Tremors, The Creature From The Black Lagoon, Aliens, Predator, Them! (1954 ), Gojira (1954 ), King Kong (1933), Mighty Joe Young (1949 ), Alligator, The Host, Deep Rising, The Descent and Rogue. For the most part, those films featured memorable monster designs and excellent effects work (for their time)- some of them have become iconic.  I can't say that about the "big ugly" in this film- it's bathed in darkness, entirely CGI and never onscreen for more than a few, fleeting seconds.  In short, it's not very memorable.

This is a good to very good film- it's far better than the idiotic "Cloverfield" that some have been comparing it to.  Furthermore, there's none of that shaky-cam bullshit to sit through either.  Produced by Spielberg and directed by JJ Abrams (Star Trek), the film feels like vintage Spielberg- the tone and pace match the Director's earliest efforts.  Although it was intended to match the look of films made in that era, I still can't stand all the frickin' lens flares- you'll know what I'm talking about if you happen to check this out. Worth a watch but be forewarned- the PG-13 rating is a bit misleading.  It's not for the younger set- hell, I jumped in my seat a couple of times.  

7.5 outta 10

Review- Cedar Rapids

On Blu-Ray/DVD - "Cedar Rapids" -- If you're looking for a solid feel-good comedy rental, this should fit the bill nicely.  Ed Helms (The Hangover films and The Office) plays a goody-two-shoes but well-meaning insurance salesman who is tapped to attend a weekend convention in hopes of securing a prestigious award. Once there, a few newfound friends and fellow conventioners act as mentors and help our protagonist break out of his self-imposed shell.

John C. Reilly brings out the most laughs with some hilariously raunchy dialogue and his signature goofball nature while Isaiah Whitlock Jr. (HBO's The Wire) and Anne Heche put in very good supporting work here. Sigourney Weaver and Stephen Root have little more than extended cameos.

It's nothing earth-shattering, but it should leave you with a smile on your face.

Recommended,

7.5 outta 10

Review- Crazy Stupid Love

Review- "Crazy Stupid Love" - Formulaic but fun and well-intentioned Dramedy/Ensemble that, at times, made me feel like I was watching a PG-13 version of "American Beauty."   Still, one of the stronger comedies of the year because of a sharp script, solid direction, the witty timing and genial nature of Steve Carrell and very good performances by Ryan Gosling and Julianna Moore.

Emma Stone is strangely absent in large chunks, but a third-act twist works in explaining this issue.   Kevin Bacon, Marisa Tomei and even Josh Groban (a stereotypical weak point) round out the notable cast, though I think you might find that model Analeigh Tipton and 14 year-old Jonah Bobo are quite the scene-stealers.
For fans of Carell, it's a much stronger, far more weighted effort than "Date Night" and a welcomed rebound from the awfulness that was "Dinner For Schmucks".

*This might just be the year Ryan Gosling breaks into full-fledged superstardom, with upcoming films "Drive" and "The Ides Of March" rounding out three movies in which he's featured to be released in 2011. 

Recommended-

7.5 outta 10

*2011 review

Review- Act Of Valor

Review- "Act Of Valor" - It's a competent action film, though the casting of legitimate, active-duty Navy Seals both helps and hinders the film.  You can't nitpick the presence, authenticity or believability factor of the Seal Team members without looking foolish, yet any complaint about their acting abilities are definitely warranted. It's hard to convey emotion, or tension involving their possible fates, when lines of dialogue are delivered without much feeling- either while at home or abroad. It's a shame that a few secondary character actors, both good and bad, are far more memorable here than the real-life heroes this film features.

It doesn't help matters that the two leads here are look so similar- it's hard to follow what's happening to either one at any given time while in combat gear.  One Seal I've seen before in previous films, possibly brought on as a combat specialist in other action movies, is the only real standout as an actor- he's referred to as "Senior" in his precious few scenes (he's the individual pictured above, to the far left).  His timing and ability as an actor is quite evident in an interrogation scene aboard a terrorist's yacht.  Too bad there's not more of him.  I believe the casting of one familiar, name actor, as a sort of emotional anchor amongst the team members, would have helped this film immensely.  You'll probably recognize a couple of the token bad guys, as well as the lovely Roselyn Sanchez (Rush Hour 2).

The cinematography is often gorgeous- the jungle scenes are sharp and quite vibrant.  Battle sequences are highly detailed and feel genuine, with a bare minimum of CGI assists.  There's a "being there" feel to the proceedings, though I could have done without the first person shooter POV bullshit and the distracting onscreen stats and mapping- it wasn't necessary, yet will probably thrill fans of the SOCOM games. There are admittedly two brief instances where I couldn't exactly get a fix on what just happened. 

Action/Combat film fans might want to check it out, though don't expect Saving Private Ryan or Black Hawk Down. 

7.0 outta 10

Review- Wild Target

On Dvd/Blu-Ray - "Wild Target"- This quirky, light-hearted, straight-to-video British comedy won me over as it progressed. The script, direction and cast are undeniably charming and there are a few laugh out loud moments. The experience took me by surprise.

Bill Nighy (Love, Actually) stars as a stuffy, methodical hitman who falls for his latest "mark"- a free spirited thief played by the alluring Emily Blunt (The Wolf Man).  Mix in a clueless drifter (Rupert Grint), a hard-luck gangster (Rupert Everett) and a slick assassin (Martin Freeman) brought in to clean up the mess and you've got yourself a gem that should please those who are looking for a "cute" little movie to rent.  (PG-13) 

Recommended   -- 

7.5 outta 10

Review- Immortals

At the Theater - "Immortals" -  If you can get past Director Tarsem Singh's ULTRA-heavy handedness and ill-advised fetish for wierd hats, this ain't so bad.  It's bloodier than all hell, features some great sound and has some impressive visuals, but it's light on character development and nowhere near as rousingly cool as "300". 

Henry Cavill has presence and acting chops- I think he'll make a great Superman in 2013's "Man of Steel".  Frieda Pinto has a pretty butt (if that was hers) and Mickey Rourke is a solid villain- though I think the Director should have used the "Once more, with feeling!" request a few more times.  Stephen Dorff feels miscast, of course I feel that way about most of his roles. More than anyone, I think it's Luke Evans (portraying Zeus here) that everyone should keep an eye upon- he's my pick to take over the role of James Bond once Daniel Craig steps away.

Some of this movie is just plain weird, maybe  a little awkward- it has some of the same pacing, design and tonal problems that plagued David Lynch's "Dune".  The action scenes are well-choreographed but somehow seemed few and far between.  It gets points for not being as tame and lame as 2010's "Clash of the Titans".

See it if you're OK with guilty pleasures. 

7.0 outta 10

Review- Conan The Barbarian (2011)

At the Theater -- Conan The Barbarian (2011) -- Although there are admittedly a slew of little flaws to pick at, this might just be the most unfairly trashed film of the year (especially with films like Drive Angry, Bad Teacher, Rubber and Sucker Punch being unleashed upon us this year). Jason Momoa makes a far, far better Conan than Schwarzennegger- the young man has presence, athleticism and charisma to boot. The film is a bloody "B"-Movie guilty pleasure that should somewhat please it's target audience.
The surprisingly spry Momoa seems to be legitimately having fun, which is far closer to Writer Robert E. Howard's character than Arnold's dumb, brooding, one-note hulk of gristle portrayed in the 1982 film. This Conan doesn't cry, either!

This most recent film could have desperately used the outstanding musical score by Basil Poledaris and the directorial flow/craft of John Milius present in the original- the music here is forgettable, there are a ton of tiny continuity issues and a few glaringly awkward editing gaffes. Some of it feels just plain rushed. Where the original was a bit too dialogue-heavy (Milius was notorious for his heavy on speeches and light on action screenplays), this film is wall-to-wall action with a few clunky one-liners and very little exposition. There's more of a budget here, featuring some very good cinematography, a few solid cgi creatures and some competently staged battle scenes.

Stephen Lang (Avatar) once again makes an adequate main villain while Rose McGowan is nearly unrecognizable, though effectively creepy, as his witch-daughter. Rachel Nichols is always nice to look at and is serviceable as a token love interest/damsel in distress.

Overall, this is an Okay action-adventure film that's leagues better than the Clash Of The Titans remake, Kull The Conqueror, Red Sonja or the goofily tame Scorpion King. I liked this Conan film a helluva lot more than The Eagle with the completely worthless Channing Tatum, though I liked this year's Ironclad quite a bit more.

As one of the more notable box-Office bombs of the last 10 years, more than likely this will be the last time we'll see Momoa, or anyone else for that matter, play Conan for a very long time- I just hope it doesn't take another thirty years for his return. I'm a big fan (quite literally) of the character and I find my inner geek a little heartbroken.

Conan The Barbarian (2011)-- 6.5 outta 10

Review- Friends With Benefits

 Review- "Friends With Benefits" - A fun, involving and energetic sex-comedy/drama that will more than likely end up as one of the year's best feel good experiences.  Some refreshing, rapid-fire dialogue, excellent cinematography featuring New York City and Los Angeles as backdrops and the genuine chemistry between Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake pretty much makes this one a winner in my book.

Kunis is gorgeous to look at in every frame she's in and is growing by leaps and bounds as an actress while Timberlake continues to surprise- he's one of the more talented and likeable young male actors working today.  Although some of the film is admirably raunchy, my comrades wishing to catch a glimpse of Mila running around naked will be disappointed (there's a butt double used in her only "nude" scene).  True to today's "climate", there's plenty of Justin's bare arse on display- that's pretty much my only complaint with the film, and it's obviously a small nit-pick :)

A very strong supporting cast is rounded out by Patricia Clarkson, Woody Harrelson, Richard Jenkins (who shines in the film's most poignant moment) and Jenna Elfman.  Expect cameos by Emma Stone and Shaun White.

From the Director of "Easy A"- those who liked that film should definitely check this out. Hell, there's even a very infectious soundtrack that reels you in.

Highly Recommended-

8.5 outta 10

Review- Cowboys & Aliens

At the Theater - "Cowboys & Aliens" -  Think "Silverado" mixed with "Independence Day."  Although it has a B-Movie vibe to the action and effects (the CGI being a bit underdone and too gaudy for my tastes), it's a perfectly acceptable closure to the marquee summer movies of 2011 because of the acting excellence and scenery chewing of Daniel Craig and Harrison Ford.   

Olivia Wilde's pretty enough, but there were moments in the film in which I thought her face was digitally rendered- a bit too "perfect" for the proceedings, I guess.  The film is filled with great character actors like Clancy Brown (The Highlander), Sam Rockwell (Moon) and Keith Carridine (Southern Comfort), all putting in very good work.

The movie is a bit uneven, slightly cheesy, sometimes frightening (for the younger set) but with some good give-and-take dialogue from a very good cast and a solid amount of fun. Go in expecting something along the lines of "Tremors" or "Deep Rising" and you should be pleased enough.

Recommended-

7.0 outta 10

Review- Captain America: The First Avenger

Review - "Captain America: The First Avenger" - Mix in the bare-knuckle adventure of "Raiders Of The Lost Ark", the patriotic nostalgia of "The Rocketeer" (Directed by Joe Johnston, same Director of this film) and a bit of the production designs of "Star Wars: A New Hope" and you have Marvel's most complete comic book to film transfer since the first "Iron Man"*.  This is an old-fashioned adventure movie made by filmmakers who obviously harbor some degree of love, understanding and respect for the source material. 

Chris Evans, whom I was previously quite skeptical of in the role, pulls it off excellently.  He's able to make the role his own and flourishes as the film progresses.   Haylee Atwill is a solid love interest, although a full-on romance isn't quite allowed to blossom.    Tommy Lee Jones and Stanley Tucci are great in pretty much every scene they're in while Hugo Weaving (once again in a villainous role) oozes pure menace as "The Red Skull"- the dude's money as a bad guy.  Dominic Cooper (as Howard Stark), Sebastian Stan (as Bucky Barnes)  and Toby Jones are surprisingly good in support.   And yes, Stan Lee has a funny cameo.

Negatives I'll bring up; I've always hated montages used to show the progress of "our hero's" fight against evil- I think it's a goofy, lazy cop-out and it's present here a few times in the third act.

Hopefully, with this film's success, I can look forward to newer "reboots" of classic, pulp characters like "Doc Savage", "The Shadow" and "The Phantom"- here's to dreaming.  The whole thing has an old-school feel to it that I'm not so sure will resonate with today's "sensibilities."

Highly Recommended

8.5 outta 10.

*- This Review was obviously written well before 2012's The Avengers.... :)

Review- Morning Glory

Morning Glory-- In my opinion, there are only a few QUALITY comedy/drama hybrids released by Hollywood each year- this film is one of them.

I was initially annoyed with how wired Rachel McAdams’ character was in the film, but came to accept it as appropriate given the subject matter- it didn’t hurt one bit that I find her highly attractive, bangs and all. Harrison Ford puts in his best work since 2000’s What Lies Beneath- he’s one of the elite living actors and no Crystal Skulls horseshit can erase that. Diane Keaton is slightly underutilized, while Patrick Wilson (as our heroine’s love interest) seems like an afterthought. Jeff Goldblum’s role is next to nothing and a very cool John Pankow makes the most of limited screen time. It’s well-written, terrifically acted, funny and unbelievably well-filmed for it’s genre.

 Highly Recommended.

8.0 outta 10

Review- Bridesmaids

At the Theater - "Bridesmaids" - Kristen Wiig channels Lucille Ball in this very funny comedy that some  are passing off as the female version of "The Hangover"- hell, I think this movie stands alongside that film as it's equal. The excellent cast, witty dialogue and inspired ad-libbing had me from the get-go.

Those lame and awkward misfire moments that mar so many of today's comedies are at an absolute minimum and there's several genuine belly laughs- a scene involving a case of untimely food poisoning (as if there's ever a good time for this) left me with a laughter-induced headache. 

Wiig and Maya Rudolph, playing the bride-to-be, are pitch perfect.  Rose Byrne (FX's Damages) is lovelier than ever as Wiig's nemesis while Melissa McCarthy  (CBS's Mike & Molly) pretty much steals every scene she's in.  John Hamm plays an excellent turd while Chris O'Dowd (Wiig's love interest in the film) is so damned charming yet non-stereotypical that I can't help but label him a future talent to keep tabs on.

Strange and heart-breaking to see the late Jill Clayburgh in her last theatrical role.

Highly Recommended- women should definitely check it out with a few of their closest female friends. 

8.5 out of 10

Review- X-Men: First Class

Review - "X-Men: First Class" - My 2nd favorite X-Men film behind X2, this is much better than the disappointing "X3: Last Stand" and the awful misfire of "Wolverine."  Although Michael Fassbender steals the show as the younger Magneto, I couldn't help but be fascinated with the size of the actor's noggin.  That's obviously neither here nor there. 

Other standouts include James McAvoy as Charles Xavier, Jennifer Lawrence (The Hunger Games) as Mystique, Nicholas Hoult (About a Boy) as Beast and Kevin Bacon as the film's main villain- yes, I said Kevin Bacon.  Hugh Jackman has a quick, but crowd-pleasing cameo as Wolverine.

The film is directed by Matthew Vaughn- 2010's "Kick-Ass" put him on the map as a talent to keep tabs on.  "First Class" is a bit harder edged than the last couple of X-Men films while also a bit irreverent- even those yellow and blue jump-suits make an appearance.  The action scenes are well done and the usage of CGI is rather solid.

Fans of the previous X-Men films shouldn't let the lack or absence of franchise stars like Jackman, Patrick Stewart, Halle Berry or Ian McKellen deter them from checking this out.

Highly Recommended 

8.5 outta 10

Review- Tamara Drewe

On DVD/BluRay- "Tamara Drewe" - Those looking for a recent, quality comedy/drama should look no further than this excellent little gem featuring the lovely Gemma Arterton ("Prince Of Persia", "Clash Of The Titans").  It's whimsical yet intelligent- the charming cast and witty dialogue reeled me in right away. 

Arterton stars as a newspaper writer that returns to her childhood home in the English countryside only to stir up old flames and plenty of domestic trouble amongst the locals.  Everything about this film was a pleasant surprise, but I think you'll agree that a certain rambunctious teen steals the show.

For those who've enjoyed films like "Love, Actually", "The Full Monty" and "High Fidelity" - Highly Recommended- 

8.0 out of 10

Document- The Wages of December

Review- Prometheus

At the Theater- Prometheus- Outstanding cinematography and razor sharp special effects work is completely undermined by a brain-dead script. Although there are many references and a ton of familiar designs that call to mind the previous films in the Alien franchise, I wouldn't call this a direct prequel to the 1979 film- too much doesn't add up. It boasts an impressive cast- though their roles and motives come across as shallow, pale imitations of some of the excellent characters we've come to know (some we've come to love) in Alien and Aliens. It's just not what it should have been and reminded me all too often of Paul W.S. Anderson's Event Horizon (1997)- IMO, that's not a good thing.

There are far too many of those massive lapses in logic (coupled with a slew of glaringly obvious continuity errors) that typically plague teen slasher flicks present here- "Wow, lookit that neato snake-lamprey-eel thingy... lemme try to pet it!" or, "WTH, I just saw a tiny worm poke out of my eyeball... no worries, it'll probably just go away." Some of the decision making by "characters who should know better" is grade-Z awful. I'm sitting there thinking to myself- '33 years after Ridley Scott Directed Alien, this is the script that pulled him back to it? You gotta be shittin me...'

Noomi Rapace (The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo) is solid- though her character isn't really allowed to go into full kick-ass "Ripley" mode here, she does convey frantic desperation quite believably. There is an impromptu abortion scene that will have you squirming something fierce. Michael Fassbender (X-Men: First Class) does his best Peter O'Toole impersonation as the obligatory android (an undercooked mixture of Ian Holm from Alien and Lance Henrikson from Aliens) of this space jaunt- he's merely serviceable. Charlize Theron's corporate shrew walks around rather stiff and mysterious- she's someone you never really care about or completely understand. Idris Elba only has a handful of brief scenes as the ship's Captain (Tom Skerritt in Alien, anyone?)- his "Texas" accent is unnecessary and out of place. Logan Marshall-Green (Devil) is completely forgettable and Guy Pearce's old-man makeup would be the only effects failure. Patrick Wilson shows up in a quick cameo. A few of the characters/crew milling about in the background could have easily been excised and you wouldn't have noticed.

Although the effects work involving the "creatures" is first rate, the designs are somewhat lackluster and they're only on full display for a few moments- I have a hard time believing that they'll "haunt" anyone in any capacity...

It's implied that we'll be subjected to a sequel to this film, but I'm not really caring where it goes from here. I'm sure that Ridley Scott will have a Director's Cut released at some point in the future, though there's nothing that I can possibly foresee that could be added to fix all the issues I had with the existing film. Needless to say, it's a disappointment.

Prometheus- 6.0 outta 10

Alien- 9.0
Aliens- 10
Alien 3- 5.0
Alien Resurrection- 5.5

Review- Snow White and The Huntsman

At the Theater- Snow White and The Huntsman - The first-rate, fantasy-themed visuals and cinematography are absolutely gorgeous to look at- too bad the script is so self-serious and the tone is so very cold to the touch. At times, I felt like I was watching a follow-up to John Boorman's Excalibur. There aren't nearly enough of those little moments of character building that help to endear an audience to the major players in this particular Action-oriented retelling of the classic fairy tale.

Kristen Stewart is never really all that likeable or believable (I think the only prerequisite she met for the role was in being naturally pale...)- her suiting up in full armor and charging into battle is a bit painful to watch. Charlize Theron can't quite get a comfortable handle on how to play the Evil Queen- she forces the matter from time to time with classic over-acting. Character Actor Sam Spruell, portraying the Queen's brother and right-hand henchman here, also feels miscast- he simply doesn't have the acting chops or presence to pull off what was required of the role. Chris Hemsworth continues to be a capable leading man, though his Huntsman character is missing that one climactic scene of heroicism that would solidify the role in the collective memory. We'll probably be seeing more of Actor Sam Claflin- though his role as love interest to Snow is missing a dynamic, he shows a fair amount of promise.

The filmmakers have gathered an impressive cast to play the Dwarfs- seeing the likes of Ian McShane (Deadwood), Bob Hoskins (Who Framed Roger Rabbit?), Ray Winstone (The Departed), Nick Frost (Shaun of The Dead), Toby Jones (Infamous) and Eddie Marsan (Hancock) play such characters is rather funny in itself- the effects work in this regard is seamless. The film definitely needed more of them and their welcome snippets of humorous dialogue to help balance out the experience.

Scenes in the "Dark Forest" and "Enchanted Forest" contrast excellently- there's a very impressive-looking "Bridgekeeper Troll" that I wish could have been utilized more. This is the first feature-length film from Director Rupert Sanders (another former music video Director) and the results, although uneven, aren't bad enough to condemn it.

7.0 outta 10

Review- The House of The Devil

On DVD/BluRay - The House of The Devil - A contrived plot device in the form of some very lofty hopes that our protagonist babysitter (Jocelin Donahue) will order a pizza (when you think about it for more than 2 seconds you'll realize how unnecessary it really was- it nagged at me), some of the most inept minions of Satan ever committed to celluloid and a ridiculously illogical last second decision by that aforementioned babysitter all help to ruin this low-budget Horror/Thriller.

Much like Director Ti West's most recent offering, The Innkeepers (2011), it takes it's time to build and is effectively atmospheric (which I appreciated) - but completely unlike The Innkeepers, it's poorly thought out and the lead's acting talent leaves a bit to be desired. A worried girl-friend, played by Greta Gerwig, is considerably better- her "departure" is the only real jolt of the film. Tom Noonan plays Tom Noonan and there's a short cameo from Dee Wallace. I enjoyed the 80's setting and look of the film- it actually felt like a low-budget film plucked from the 1980's.

It's much better than West's first feature-length film, The Roost (2007)- but that really isn't saying much at all... it's a major league turkey in itself.

The House of The Devil is so well received and regarded across the net that it makes me worry even more about the current state of Horror films...

The House of the Devil - 5.5
 

The Innkeepers - 7.5
The Roost - 4.0

Review- Battleship

At the Theater - Battleship - Clunky and dumb, a SciFi/Actioner featuring some of the absolute gaudiest CGI effects of this Summer, a host of painfully lame snippets of dialogue (most meant to serve as comedy) and more plot holes and outright lapses in logic that I can ever recall seeing in one film. The script seemingly makes up the rules as it goes along and then forgets them five minutes later- It's rarely any fun and completely devoid of wit.

Director Peter Berg (I've enjoyed some of his past films, such as The Rundown, The Kingdom and Hancock) goes full-tilt-boogie trying to impersonate Michael Bay and follow the blueprint of the Transformers films- I'm not the biggest fan of Bay and those particular films, though he can admittedly choreograph and lense some terrific action sequences and usually displays an impressive eye for detail in regards to the effects work in his films. Berg shows none of that "talent" here. The larger-scaled scenes of destruction are so poorly rendered that one might think they were produced several years ago by a 2nd rate FX company- the unmasked aliens are disappointingly generic, as well.

Liam Neeson's screen time clocks in at somewhere just over 5 minutes of this 131 minute assault on the senses- fans of the actor might want to know that. Taylor Kitsch, who seems to be the flavor of 2012, is the central star of the film- he's a competent leading man who had far better material to work with and much more talent surrounding him in this year's March release, John Carter (he was surprisingly good in it and I enjoyed that film immensely). Rihanna and Brooklyn Decker are very nice to look at but would be wise to invest in better acting coaches. Alexander Skarsgard (HBO's True Blood-he's never impressed me much) rounds out the notable, but entirely one-dimensional cast.

A subplot concerning our hero's girlfriend (Decker) and a double-amputee vet means well, but is so poorly conceived and executed that I couldn't help but wince each time the film returned to it. I understood the intent, but most of it was in plain 'ol poor taste.

I felt the lone bright spot in this movie arrived when the USS Missouri, along with a salty crew of ready and willing veterans, is brought out of decommission to help save the day. It's just nowhere near enough and feels pulled from a better film.

5.0 out of 10

Review- Coriolanus

On DVD/BluRay - Coriolanus - Those looking for something inherently different than what the Big Summer Movie Season provides might want to check out this modern day retelling of one of William Shakespeare's lesser known plays about the dangers of self-pride and shady politics. A more "refined" taste might just be a prerequisite, be prepared for every piece of dialogue to be delivered in old Shakespearean English- understandably, it might just prove to be a deal-breaker for most. Although I was ready for this going in (and it's usually not my personal cup o tea), I didn't expect that the script and delivery would be so entertainingly fluent and relatively easy to follow.

This film is Ralph Fiennes' Directorial debut- I'll be quite interested in his future projects. Each scene is cleverly staged, the editing is first rate and the cinematography fits the subject matter perfectly. The acting is uniformly excellent, with Fiennes (playing the titular character) and Vanessa Redgrave being real standouts. Gerard Butler makes a few appearances as an enemy of Rome, with Brian Cox (Troy) and Jessica Chastain (The Help) rounding out the recognizable talent.

There is only one substantial battle scene (occurring in the first 15 minutes of the movie), though it's highly realistic and rather bloody- my only real complaint being that I believe one more action/battle scene near the end of the 2nd act and the beginning of the 3rd, if only a few minutes long, would have helped out immensely towards balancing the story. I imagine others will have a difficult time buying into any kind of sympathy with the main character.

Worth a rent for those interested.

7.5 out of 10

Review- Men In Black III

At the Theater - Men In Black 3 - Although it's considerably better than the 2nd film in this franchise, one can't help but feel underwhelmed given it's been 10 years since we last saw Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones team up to save the world from extraterrestrial threats- it's yet another long-gestating project that seems hastily conceived and constructed. Rick Baker's creature effects work and Josh Brolin's perfect imitation of Tommy Lee Jones are the only real standouts. Good Lord, I wish there had been much, much more of the Uber-Sexy Nicole Scherzinger, but alas...

The film is glossy and colorful enough, with a number of serviceable, cg-assisted action scenes. The dialogue and situations are mildly amusing but never outright witty- as far as I'm concerned, most of Smith's schtick has run it's course. The script doesn't capitalize on the late sixties setting and only topically explores the stranger in a strange land angle with Smith being transplanted from the future. The lack of ambition in this regard is rather disappointing.

Tommy Lee Jones doesn't grace the screen very much throughout, as the majority of the story takes place in 1969 with Brolin playing his younger self. I have a feeling Jones wanted his involvement kept to a minimum with this outing, a script whipped up to accommodate his wishes.
Emma Thompson (Agent O here) makes an OK replacement for Rip Torn as the Agency coordinator- looks like Torn's "real-life" legal and apparent mental issues have suffocated what's left of his career. Thompson has barely more than an extended cameo and only several quick lines. She does look quite attractive here, though. Alice Eve plays a younger version of Agent O, yet she, as well, only has a minute or two of screen time.

The main baddie, played by Jemaine Clement (HBO's Flight Of The Conchords), has much more of a buildup than a payoff- the final showdown is a bit lackluster. A bit of sentimentality involving our heroes respective pasts and a few loose ends being tied up seems lifted from a better film. Although the whole thing moves at a brisk, economic pace, Director Barry Sonnenfeld might need to be replaced if the franchise is to continue... for the sake of freshness.

As with the other two films in the series, keep a lookout for some cameos in the crowd at the MIB headquarters- most of them are of the "blink and you'll miss 'em" variety.

Men In Black 3 - 7.0 out of 10

Men In Black 2 - 5.5
Men In Black - 8.0

Review- Dark Shadows

At the Theater- Dark Shadows - Though I've never been a big fan of the Director, and believe his infatuation with wild visual excess has marred most of his filmography, this is a surprisingly dull, unimaginative and subdued offering from Tim Burton (FWIW, Sleepy Hollow would my favorite from him). Johnny Depp's witty dialogue and inherent likability, coupled with Eva Green's vampish presence (not to mention her glorious cleavage!) can only hold this underwritten, half-baked, near-spoof of the cult TV Soap opera of the late 1960's/early 70's together so long. It has a solid, talented cast- though as an ensemble, it's a failure. I'm not sure Burton or the Producers were ever confident as to what kind of film they wanted to make...

Why even bother to introduce characters as major players (played by impressive names) if you're not going to use them? Early on, it appears to be a film centering around actress Bella Heathcote's character, yet she disappears for awkwardly long stretches. One could say the same for the rest of the cast not named Depp or Green- Michelle Pfeiffer, Helena Bonham Carter, Jackie Earle Haley, Chloe Grace Moretz, and Johnny Lee Miller are given very little to say or do. Even cameos from Alice Cooper and Christopher Lee are poorly conceived. It's a head scratcher.

The second act is AWOL- it's yet another film where I felt a significant portion of footage must have been trimmed for theatrical run-time purposes. There's a weird lapse in logic involving a climactic confrontation between the townsfolk and the Collins Family and an eleventh-hour revelation involving Moretz's character seems painfully tacked on. You'll have quite a bit of fun spotting all of the "of the era" pop culture references, the late 60's/early 70's soundtrack selection is welcome and the original score from Danny Elfman is serviceable enough, though I'm still wavering on whether I liked the overexposed and washed out cinematography as used here.

The film is indeed playful, but rarely outright funny or exciting. Unless you're a die-hard fan of Depp's, skip this in theaters and wait for rental.

7.0 out of 10

Review- Safe

At the Theater - Safe - There are several gun battles here, a solid car chase and a number of quick martial arts encounters- they occur in such rapid succession, and with so many faceless, characterless goons (they died so fast I couldn't count them) that I found myself a bit numbed. It's a competent action film, though the spastic editing and claustrophobic, shaky cam nonsense really waters it down- it's usage here reaffirms my love for this year's Gina Carano vehicle, Haywire (a far, far superior film that features excellently choreographed fight scenes with wide, lengthy cuts). Statham's machismo keeps it afloat and there's a pretty cool conclusion.

Jason Statham plays a destitute former cop and cage match fighter who's haunted by the death of his wife at the hands of the Russian Mob. His character runs across a gifted 11 year old girl being hunted by that same gang of Russians, the Triad and a crew of corrupt cops- all out to secure a series of numbers that she's memorized. The basic premise is essentially a reworking of the Bruce Willis film, Mercury Rising. This particular film is a tad too over-plotted for my tastes, with a few too many conveniences to move the story from one scene to the next. There's nothing here that I felt was painfully dumb, though.

This is the first full-length feature film for the young actress, Catherine Chan- she's okay, with plenty of room and time to grow. Her character never really makes a connection to Statham's- that particular arc is undermined by the constant plotting and action. Chris Sarandon (Fright Night) makes a few appearances as the Mayor of New York, while Robert John Burke (FX's Rescue Me) plays a corrupt Police Captain. James Hong (Big Trouble in Little China) shows up a few times in truly despicable form, as always, as the Triad crime boss.

Statham fans might want to wait to rent this one- it's better than The Mechanic (2011) and Killer Elite (2011) but not as good as Blitz.

7.0 out of 10

Review- The Avengers

At the Theater- The Avengers - Crowd pleasing and fun, kick-ass and cool, Co-Writer/Director Joss Whedon pulls off something of a Summer movie miracle here- a massively budgeted Action/Adventure/Super Hero film with a wealth of major players that manages to balance all of the characters and proceedings to damned-near perfection. It's excellently written (the dialogue is outstanding) and Directed grand entertainment that rarely feels bloated- the set pieces and FX work (for the overwhelming majority of the film) are so visually appealing that I could understand and appreciate where the money went (you know, as opposed to Green Lantern).

There's quite a few "inner-fist-pump-worthy" scenes to go along with a couple of truly heart-lifting moments- the nature of which I haven't felt since... well, since I last saw Christopher Reeve catch Margot Kidder with one hand... and a helicopter with the other. I must admit to missing this kind of emotion with Nolan's The Dark Knight- one could argue that his Batman films are a different kind of beast altogether, but I feel his heavy-handed, self-serious approach to the Caped Crusader (at least as far as TDK is concerned) has sucked the life (and fun) from the franchise. I would love to see Joss tackle the character (or Superman, for that matter) in the future, but that seems highly unlikely.

Many have claimed that the story unfolds through Captain America's eyes, but I didn't get that at all- Robert Downey Jr./Iron Man is clearly the central character anchoring the film. Downey has a host of stellar lines and the greater degree of established depth. Chris Evans once again makes a serviceable Cappy- he's likable enough, though I believe he's probably the weakest actor of the male Avengers. I also didn't care too much for his newly redesigned mask/headpiece- it just didn't seem to fit right. Hemsworth continues to make an excellent Thor, he has all the right ingredients to enjoy a lengthy career as a legitimate action star. Here's to hoping he works with a better Director and script than he did with the initial Thor film. Scarlett Johansson is as sexy as ever as Black Widow- I'm beginning to warm up to her as a red head. Jeremy Renner, an excellent actor who is featured here for the (relatively) shortest amount of screen-time, can definitely handle a stand-alone Hawkeye film, but I'm not so sure audiences will flock to one... Mark Ruffalo surprised me as the new Bruce Banner- he's made the role his own and has appeared to have gained Marvel's confidence as well. The new Hulk design is fantastic- they finally got it right! The Hulk's "Puny God" faceoff with Loki was my favorite part of the film- from the laughs it got from the audience, it would seem that most of them felt similarly. Sam Jackson has pretty much cemented himself as Nick Fury- he deserves it. Perhaps it was Tom Hiddleston's acting prowess as the villainous Loki that impressed me the most- he may not have the most presence in the film but the young man oozes evil with mere smiles. There will probably be a host of bad-guy roles in his future film career.

Gwyneth Paltrow returns as Pepper Potts- someone decided to show her off in a pair of cutoff shorts and it worked wonders... Clark Gregg is back again as Shield Agent Phil Coulson- let's just say there's a good reason he's been featured in other Marvel films. The sultry-eyed Cobie Smulders makes her first appearance in a Marvel film here- I get the feeling she'll be hooking up with Cappy in the future... Stellan Skaarsgard has a rather small role continuing a character established in Thor, while Powers Boothe and Jenny Agutter make small cameos. A certain, loveable old coot of a character actor shows up as a surprised Security Guard, but I won't spoil it for you.

Minor complaints and a few questions: The Chitauri army is made up of entirely CGI creatures- it would have been nice for a few closeups using old school, practical makeup effects, kind of like those Peter Jackson used so prominently (and so very well) in the LOTR films in regards to the Orcs. I believe it would have added more weight to the situation as well as to their collective character. I had hoped that the days of (way too) easily dispatched hordes of entirely CGI baddies had died with the last Star Wars prequel.
Whatever happened to a memorable original musical score, the kind that will stay with you for a lifetime? Did you hum this one as you left the theater?

Actress Amanda Righetti made a brief appearance as an Agent of Shield at the conclusion of Captain America- did Cobie Smulders simply replace her? I can't remember hearing what could have possibly kept James Rhodes/War Machine away from the fray... It would have been nice to have had some kind of quick cameos by Natalie Portman as Jane Porter or Liv Tyler/Jennifer Connelly as Betty Ross. I believe Cappy deserved some kind of closure involving Peggy Carter's character as well- it was something that needed to be addressed and could have more thoroughly driven home that sense of loss that haunts his character.

Stay a few minutes into the credits for a very cool intro to a possible future Avengers villain, stay until the end of the credits for a hilarious little add-on. If you only see a small handful of films at the theater each year, make sure this is one of them. Highly Recommended

The Avengers - 9.0 out of 10
 
 FWIW-

Iron Man - 8.5
Captain America - 8.5
Iron Man 2 - 8.0
Thor - 7.5
The Incredible Hulk - 6.5
Hulk - 5.0

Review- The Raven

At The Theater- The Raven - John Cusack stars as Writer/Poet Edgar Allen Poe, who teams up with a determined Detective (Luke Evans) to solve grisly murders in 19th Century Baltimore. It's too quick and underwritten to be highly entertaining, though it's nowhere near as bad as so many of the critics would have you believe. Perhaps this merely competent Drama/Thriller from Director James McTeigue (V For Vendetta- Loved it, Ninja Assassin- Hated it) should have gone straight to video- it just has that kind of "not fully realized" feel to it that those inclined may feel more receptive to as a rental.

Cusack never feels natural (or looks comfortable) in the role, while co-star Evans continues to shine in nearly every role I can remember him in- he's my pick to be the next James Bond. Alice Eve is Cusack's love interest while Brendan Gleeson makes a few appearances as Eve's father.

There are a couple of "what the hell just happened?" moments that I'll chalk up to editing gaffes, the characters are short on development across the board and the second act felt severely lacking- it's one of those movies which could use and extra ten minutes of exposition to catch it's breath. Unkle's "Burn My Shadow" kicks in with the credits which had me shaking my head.

It's an OK time passer with solid production values that never gets downright stupid.

6.5 out of 10

Review- The Innkeepers

On Blu Ray and DVD - The Innkeepers - A solid little psychological thriller/ghost story that's missing that one defining "masterstroke" scene that propels it into "greatness" territory- a fine performance from lead Sara Paxton and some effectively spooky, atmospheric Direction still place this somewhere between good and very good. Strangely enough, I enjoyed the slow burn buildup of the first two acts much better than the conclusion- it isn't a bad ending, it just feels a little rushed.

Two Hotel Innkeepers watching over the final weekend of the soon to be closing "Yankee Pedlar Inn" combat boredom with brief forays into exploring the supposed supernatural past of the historic building. Endearing performances and some natural give and take dialogue between the two slackers helped to reel me in rather early on- they're strong characters and that's a rarity in most of today's current Horror films. Sara Paxton (Aqua Marine, Shark Night) shines brightest- she's a cutie who displays quite a bit of range here, while fellow Innkeeper Pat Healy (Magnolia) makes quite a loveable geek. Kelly McGillis (Top Gun) makes a few appearances as a Hotel patron- her former actress with psychic abilities is a character lacking a truly dynamic arc.

There's a parting shot in the film that you almost have to replay a few times to get the full effect of- it's a creepy exclamation point to a very good little gem. Horror fans should check it out. Recommended.

7.5 out of 10

Review- The Cabin In The Woods

At the Theater - The Cabin In The Woods - Writer/Director Drew Goddard and co-writer Joss Whedon (The Avengers, Buffy The Vampire Slayer) have pretty much turned the Horror genre on it's ear with this ambitious, inspired bit of blood-soaked fun. It's a cool blend of Horror/Sci-Fi/Comedy/Satire that should please fans of pretty much any of the aforementioned genres. This isn't a straight-forward tale of college kids being slaughtered in the boonies- it's much, much more than that .

The film stars Chris Hemsworth (Thor) as the jock, Kristen Connelly as the good girl, Fran Kranz (Dollhouse) as the wisecracking pothead, Jesse Williams (Grey's Anatomy) as the intellectual and Anna Hutchison as the sex bomb. Hemsworth fans might be disappointed with the nature of his role here- this film was finished in 2009 so the filmmakers couldn't possibly have foreseen the Superstar status he would cement with 2011's Thor. Richard Jenkins (Let Me In) and Bradley Whitford (The West Wing) are the scene-stealers here, in roles I wouldn't wish to disclose the natures of. Amy Acker (Angel) and Brian White (Brick) round out the actors you may recognize.

The dialogue is often of the very witty variety- pay attention because many of the questions you may have about the "rules" or problems you may have with apparent plot holes will pretty much be covered in quick snippets of banter. It's decidedly well-written, which is a rarity with current Horror releases. Those expecting generous amounts of blood & gore, monsters galore and gratuitous boob shots (a little wanting in this department, for my tastes...) should all be pleasantly surprised. It covers most of the bases, so to speak.
Complaints: a few quick scenes are way too dark for my tastes and a bit of a polish on the five stereotypical participants would have been nice. The stoner acting as comedic relief has a nasal delivery to his dialogue which seems forced and unnecessary.

The film is complete with a very cool, resonating cameo near it's conclusion. Highly Recommended-

8.5 out of 10

Review- Goon

At the Theater- Goon - A redemptive, loosely based on a true story tale of a Bouncer turned Minor-League Hockey enforcer that grew on me as it progressed and had me smiling from ear to ear with it's conclusion. It's admittedly rather thin throughout, one would have hoped that a bit more depth and detail with it's colorful cast had been spread about- a moderate amount of script-doctoring in this regard would have made this good to very good little Sports Comedy into something great. As is, it boasts some very funny dialogue, a pitch-perfect performance from lovable thug Seann William Scott and a somehow strangely heart-lifting third act.

Alison Pill (Scott Pilgrim vs The World) plays the love interest- she better keep her hair style that she sports here because it's the best she's ever looked. Liev Schrieber is the legendary, veteran enforcer that appears to be on a collision course with our hero- I wish he had been given more screen-time and material to flex his chops. Jay Baruchel (Tropic Thunder, Knocked Up) is Goon's foul-mouthed friend and rabid Hockey fan. Kim Coates is rather effective as "Coach" while Eugene Levy is wasted in a couple of quick cameos as our protagonist's Father. Marc-Andre Grondin appears to be the talent to keep a watch for in future endeavors.

Hockey Fans should keep a lookout for a couple of cameos featuring former NHL enforcer Georges Laraque. You don't necessarily have to be a fan of hockey to enjoy it- I hate the sport yet enjoyed Goon quite a bit. Be forewarned: There will be blood!

7.5 outta 10

Review- Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011)

On DVD and Blu Ray - Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011) - I understand exactly what kind of tone and feel that Director Tomas Alfredson (2008's Let The Right One In) was striving for, but this brooding, dialogue-heavy, cold war era espionage Drama/Thriller misses the mark. An excellent cast, which includes Gary Oldman, Mark Strong, Tom Hardy, John Hurt, Ciaran Hinds, Colin Firth and Toby Jones is watered down and nearly wasted. There's nothing really bad about the film technically, but sitting through it might prove to be quite a chore.

I hate to use the term "boring" but it kept popping into my mind as I was watching it- strange, considering that there are admittedly a few graphic onscreen deaths and a couple of even more graphic "aftermath" shots. None of the actors are given the material, nor screen-time, to even accidentally come across as likable, or even memorable for that matter. Oldman once again disappears in his character but only shines in one moment of reflection regarding an old adversary. High-quality actors like Firth, Jones, Hardy and Strong seem cast merely for audience recognition- a ploy that I feel many filmmakers use to divert movie-goers attentions away from under-developed screenplays and woefully inadequate characterizations. Hell, I'm struggling to remember if Ciaran Hinds even has a speaking line in the film. Keep tabs on up and coming actor Benedict Cumberbatch (playing Oldman's right hand man here), he was featured in last year's War Horse and is currently playing Sherlock Holmes on the BBC's Sherlock. He'll be featured quite prominently in next year's Star Trek sequel.

The cinematography is effectively cold and dreary, with subdued color schemes and a considerable amount of grain in some segments- it fits the tone, but I'm not so sure it helps matters entertainment-wise. For myself, it only added to the overall... blandness.

The film only lit fire in the last five minutes or so, with a nice blend of music, editing and onscreen retribution. Obviously, it wasn't nearly enough.

*NOTE- I believe you can chalk all my issues with the film up to a major condensation of a much more substantial, layered and complex story- this particular film being based upon a John Le Carre novel (1974) and a subsequent 1979 BBC Miniseries of the same title. That miniseries (which I've never seen) runs approximately 290 minutes long and is regarded by many as one of BBC TV's all-time best programs. In comparison, the 2011 film runs approximately 127 minutes long.

6.5 out of 10

Review- John Carter

(Above artwork by the Great Frank Frazetta)

At the Theater- John Carter - I loved it. It's a bit corny here and there but has enough soaring action, crystal clear spectacle and subtle, "little" touches to firmly separate it from the cold, emotionless Star Wars prequels. The movie rarely feels bloated- It's one of the best constructed and filmed, massive-budgeted, SFX-heavy releases I've seen in quite some time. Hell, I enjoyed it much more than the similarly themed Avatar. Needless to say, I was immensely entertained.

Writer/Director Andrew Stanton (Finding Nemo, Wall-E, A Bug's Life, Monster's Inc.) makes his live-action debut a memorable one, visually speaking- location footage in New Mexico and Utah (often subbing for the surfaces of Mars) is absolutely beautiful. It was thrilling to see such a CGI-heavy film mixing natural scenery in with the manufactured shots- much like the excellent New Zealand location footage used in the Lord Of The Rings films established a spacious, tangible setting, it gives the proceedings a solid, authentic foundation.

Based upon Edgar Rice Burrough's "Princess Of Mars", the film feels like a nostalgic throwback to yesteryear in it's tone- expect an adventurous, stranger-in-a-strange-land story along the lines of Stargate or, oddly enough, Hidalgo. For a moment or two, I felt like a younger person...

Taylor Kitsch surprised me as the titular character- he's often likable and has presence to spare. This seems to be his year as he's the lead of the upcoming Battleship. That said, the standout of this film is the beauty of Texas-born Lynn Collins- I couldn't take my eyes off of her... the film should have stuck with the Burrough's-given story title of "Princess Of Mars". Perhaps that would have helped with the film's marketing, which was abysmal. Actors portraying humanoid characters that you may notice: Ciaran Hinds, Dominic West, Mark Strong, Bryan Cranston and James Purefoy. Featuring the voices of Willem Dafoe, Thomas Haden Church, Samantha Morton and Polly Walker as non-humanoid characters. Oh yeah, and there's a damned-cool dog-thing that really grows on you.

Complaints: the film opens a bit clunky, the dialogue could have used a few tweaks and the film needed a stronger central villain.

I highly recommend it. Cynics need not apply.

8.5 out of 10

Review- Hugo

On DVD and Blu Ray- Hugo - Visually outstanding, but perhaps a little too cold to the touch and complex for the younger set. Emotionally, it doesn't really catch fire until the last 15 minutes. That said, those of us who weren't able to catch this in theaters appear to have missed the premier 3D event of 2011- the smaller screen apparently removes quite a bit of the magic that so many critics adored. It's highly recommended, but only those with primo home theater setups- more specifically, those which include 3D capabilities- will experience the full effect.

There are a few intended story arcs involving secondary characters that are never fully realized, leaving one to wonder why actors such as Emily Mortimer, Jude Law, Christopher Lee, Ray Winstone and Richard Griffiths were even cast- perhaps just because we recognize them? Each of the aforementioned talents is only given a couple of lines to convey and a few fleeting moments of screen time- I'm thinking quite a bit of filler was excised to attain it's 126 minute run-time, as epic kids films appear to be a thing of the past.

Asa Butterfield, Chloe Grace Moretz and Ben Kingsley are all very good to great where Sasha Baron Cohen (the film's central antagonist and comic relief) seems a bit forced and out of place- he's merely serviceable in a role that should have gone to someone with more presence and seasoning. Then again, maybe it was just weird for me to have seen "Borat" in a kids film...

Director Martin Scorsese and Cinematographer Robert Richardson (Platoon, Shutter Island, Kill Bill 1 & 2 and Inglourious Basterds) have crafted a visual treat for those who appreciate the art of photography- it's the constant star and obvious highlight of the film. As you have undoubtedly heard, expect a film and story which presents itself as a homage to early films and early film-making- it's all quite fascinating, really. Look for the Director in a "blink-and-you'll-miss-it" cameo.

8.5 out of 10

Review- The Woman In Black

At the Theater - The Woman In Black - Daniel Radcliffe is the only real problem I had with this otherwise surprisingly effective little ghost story. He's merely serviceable in his first post-Potter franchise role- the whole time I was watching him onscreen, I kept feeling that he was slightly miscast. He's still a bit too youngish in a role that would have been perfect for someone like Jude Law. That said, the movie is atmospheric, creepy and legitimately scary on a few occasions.

It's very cool to see the new Hammer Films logo displayed before the film- this particular Horror entry actually has brief moments that reminded me of some of Hammer's greats of yesteryear. There's very little CGI to speak of, something I greatly appreciated- that said, this movie is relatively bloodless, which is something Hammer definitely wasn't known for.

Ciaran Hinds has a significant role, though I wish he'd been utilized a bit more throughout. He's the only other actor in this film that I recognized. Keep a lookout for a certain actor (portraying a none-too-welcoming villager) with one of the most fake-looking natural faces you'll ever see. You'll know it when you see it.

I guess I better warn parents and those shiny happy people out there- several children perish onscreen and the ending is a bit of a downer. The film reminded me of The Others but not quite as good. I'd say it ties with Stir Of Echoes.

Recommended

7.5 outta 10

Review- Safe House

At the Theater - Safe House - Although there's a little too much Ryan Reynolds and not enough Denzel Washington for my tastes, I found myself pleasantly surprised with this entertaining, fast-paced action film. It's shot and edited like the two Bourne sequels, so those who hate a little shaky-cam with their fight scenes, gun battles and car chases be forewarned. It starts off a little generic but builds to a mostly satisfying, logistically sound conclusion.

Reynolds is clearly the intended star of the picture- I still haven't fully taken a shine to him as an action star, but he shows gritty promise late in the second and throughout the third act of the film. Denzel is as high caliber as ever here- (he's one of my all-time favorite actors) I was slightly disappointed that his full talents were only on display for a few short, but inspired bursts.

Small nitpick: Washington's character name in this is "Tobin Frost"... c'mon screen-writers! Brendan Gleeson, Vera Farmiga and Sam Shephard have significant roles but are given very little depth- probably my biggest complaint with the film is that they felt like stock characters. Ruben Blades, Robert Patrick, Liam Cunningham and Tracie Thoms all have very small roles.

It's a good "quickie" action movie, but those who are normally alert probably figured it all out when you watched the trailers. Recommended

7.5 outta 10

Review- Underworld: Awakening

At the Theater - Underworld: Awakening- Although it's cool to see Kate Beckinsale back in black, form-fitting latex, this particular entry in the series is the shortest (88 minutes) and decidedly weakest of the lot- there's more of a reliance on CGI than ever (some of it quite dodgy) and the prior-installment acting talents of Bill Nighy, Michael Sheen and Derek Jacobi are sorely missed. This whole series has been a guilty pleasure of varying degrees with this sequel being the most guilty.

Much like the previous volumes in the franchise, this is entirely devoid of humor- once again, it would have been nice if these films weren't so self-serious and made a bit of an effort to break up the bloodletting with a stab or two at self-acknowledging fun. That said, I'm thankful that there's still plenty of blood, gore, bullets, explosions and all-around R-Rated carnage on display- it's what one should expect in a futuristic Vampire Vs Werewolf tale.

Beckinsale is once again solid in the role, though I couldn't help but notice that closeups of her face were a bit harsher on her than in the last film I saw her in (Contraband)- the 39 year old is still very attractive, though she's not quite as curvy as I recall. Stephen Rea (The Crying Game) is merely serviceable in a major role while Charles Dance (The Last Action Hero) seems awkward in little more than a cameo as the head vamp of a coven. Others might recognize Michael Ealy (Takers) as an understanding detective, Kris Holden-Ried (The SyFy Channel's Lost Girl) as a villainous sort with a big surprise and Sandrine Holt (24) in a wasted role. You'll probably see more of newcomers Theo James and India Eisley in future movies.

Although this is a bit better than last year's Priest and admittedly superior to awful bloodsucker hunter films like Blade: Trinity and Van Helsing, it doesn't compare to Blade or Blade 2.

I would recommend it only to fans of the series and to those who can't stand the insipid Twilight nonsense.

6.5 out of 10.

FWIW-

Underworld- 7.5
Underworld: Evolution- 8.0
Underworld: Rise Of The Lycans- 7.0