Review- Battleship

At the Theater - Battleship - Clunky and dumb, a SciFi/Actioner featuring some of the absolute gaudiest CGI effects of this Summer, a host of painfully lame snippets of dialogue (most meant to serve as comedy) and more plot holes and outright lapses in logic that I can ever recall seeing in one film. The script seemingly makes up the rules as it goes along and then forgets them five minutes later- It's rarely any fun and completely devoid of wit.

Director Peter Berg (I've enjoyed some of his past films, such as The Rundown, The Kingdom and Hancock) goes full-tilt-boogie trying to impersonate Michael Bay and follow the blueprint of the Transformers films- I'm not the biggest fan of Bay and those particular films, though he can admittedly choreograph and lense some terrific action sequences and usually displays an impressive eye for detail in regards to the effects work in his films. Berg shows none of that "talent" here. The larger-scaled scenes of destruction are so poorly rendered that one might think they were produced several years ago by a 2nd rate FX company- the unmasked aliens are disappointingly generic, as well.

Liam Neeson's screen time clocks in at somewhere just over 5 minutes of this 131 minute assault on the senses- fans of the actor might want to know that. Taylor Kitsch, who seems to be the flavor of 2012, is the central star of the film- he's a competent leading man who had far better material to work with and much more talent surrounding him in this year's March release, John Carter (he was surprisingly good in it and I enjoyed that film immensely). Rihanna and Brooklyn Decker are very nice to look at but would be wise to invest in better acting coaches. Alexander Skarsgard (HBO's True Blood-he's never impressed me much) rounds out the notable, but entirely one-dimensional cast.

A subplot concerning our hero's girlfriend (Decker) and a double-amputee vet means well, but is so poorly conceived and executed that I couldn't help but wince each time the film returned to it. I understood the intent, but most of it was in plain 'ol poor taste.

I felt the lone bright spot in this movie arrived when the USS Missouri, along with a salty crew of ready and willing veterans, is brought out of decommission to help save the day. It's just nowhere near enough and feels pulled from a better film.

5.0 out of 10